One thing every woman should remember is to beware of these kinds of false compliments. They are poison.

Adult women who say rude and personal things KNOW full well they are being inappropriate—and they make a choice to do it anyway. This is not some kind of misinterpreted faux pas or unintended social gaffe. It is a strategy whereby some women try to make themselves feel superior to other women.

Make no mistake, a woman who sneers at at another woman saying "You're so skinny" is NOT being "complimentary in her own way."

And a woman who says stuff like "I'm CONCERNED about you being so skinny—I think you must therefore be: anorexic, unable to have children, using drugs, being abused, etc., (These are all things that have been said to me) is not "concerned" or "caring" or "being nice." She is just putting you down in a way that makes herself seem above criticism.

We all know the kind of woman who likes to put on the "concerned face" while (gleefully) saying things like "Ooooh, you look so TIRED" and then wail "I'm only trying to help!" when you tell her that you have no intention of giving her the information she is fishing for.

It is profoundly embarrassing for anyone to listen to any kind of blunt comment about their own body, regardless of one's size, colour, health, athletic ability, attractiveness, etc. Just try it for a few minutes and see how much you can stand. No one likes it, even if the comments are supposedly "positive." Women who make these comments KNOW they are embarrassing the other person and they do it BECAUSE it makes the other person uncomfortable.

In other words, rude comments are NOT simply some roundabout female way of saying "You look great!"

This is the same old behavior that worked to some extent when they were 14, and they think they can still get away with it as adults. And they can, until other women start calling them on it and letting them know that it is not acceptable.

Yes, we all want to rise above petty grievances, but some women apparently still need to learn that childish behaviors and attitudes don't work with in the adult world.

I actually enjoy these kinds of letters. I know how it feels to be stuck and unable to find a way to move forward, even when you really want to.

In the interest of full disclosure, I will say that I have a great love for the visual arts, as well as the crafts (especially jewelry and book arts), but I was never an "art star" by any stretch, so I make my living as a reasonably-skilled graphic designer. It pays well, and I am at a point in my career where I get interesting and valuable projects quite regularly.

The only point I want to add to other people's excellent advice is this: Don't worry about adopting the persona of the "crazy, free, liberated person who is in the artist tribe" if this is not your authentic style. To do any art well requires skill, focus, dedication, discipline, organization, planning, sweat, struggle, as well as the obvious creativity and passion.

You don't have to wear clothes that don't suit you, or affect a fake personality. Being yourself - your TRUE self - and being committed to doing YOUR art is what makes you an artist.

I will also add that I loved every single minute I spent at art school, but it was extremely expensive and you must be very, very careful before spending thousands of dollars for tuition. Consider part-time studies for a while before making any such decision.

Some people find these kinds of "Who am I?" questions trivial, but I think that more people should spend some time thinking through these issues. So do the work. It is not an easy journey, but it is worth it.

I wish you all the best.