Letters to the Editor
loopychick
Published Letters: 40 Editor's Choice: 11
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Greek Schmeek
[Read the article: My mother-in-law put a curse on us and spat in my husband's face]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I don't believe in curses in the literal sense, although I think Carey made a good point about there effects, and it may help you and your husband to perform some sort of ritual act. Whatever this act is should be aimed at healing each other, committing to each other, and getting on with your lives while minimizing the corrosive effects of having such an appalling mother-in-law. I think that the fact that you are superstitious might actually give this "curse" power within your mind - because you think it might work you worry, and fret, and are miserable - and then in a way it seems like the curse has worked. Which is exactly what the mother-in-law wants. So the important thing to do first is to assure yourself and your husband that she has no power over either of you or your lives together. And if that means a ritual exorcism, that's great. It might mean that you and he sit in the hot tub and clink two big glasses of retsina (or whatever) together and say out loud, "We pledge to love each other and to never allow whatserface to come between us", then shag each other senseless. I don't mean to belittle the situation - just do whatever feels right for you two - and that curse goes "poof".
I have to say also that the fact that you and your husband have been together for 12 years indicates to me that she doesn't have such power ... after all these years he obviously has money, a business, you and thee children ... why would she wait this long if she could have "cursed" you before you were married? I'm guessing she knew you weren't Greek before now?
Your mother-in-law clearly wants you and your husband to be unhappy, for reasons of her own. I can't imagine my mother spitting in my face, and I can't imagine what your poor husband thinks about what she's done. Obviously you need to talk about this with him - maintain a united front - and then you need to stop doing everything you can to make them happy. They're never going to be happy, and they're never going to accept you if they haven't already. They're going to continue to talk behind your back to others because that's the kind of people they are. Why would you continue to do laundry etc for people who dislike you this much? Why would you be around them at all? As well, you obviously you have other family and friends who are passing on to you what mother-in-law has said - you need to ask those people to stop. You don't need to know, you don't want to know, and its not helping you. Let them stew in their own juices!
Do whatever you want to your hair, live your life, love your husband and your kids and yourself and reduce contact with these people as much as possible. That will negate any "curse" mom-in-law wishes to throw at you. One way to look at it: living well is the best revenge.
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Let me help you pack ....
[Read the article: I let a homeless man move in with me and now I can't get rid of him]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Based on the LW's letter I'd have to agree with nkennedy on this. I don't think this is a landlord-tenant relationship in the legal sense. The LW agreed to let this guy stay with her as long as he didn't drink. He has failed to live up to that agreement and it sounds like she has asked him to make arrangements to move out repeatedly and he's not taking her seriously.
LW, here's some advice from experience: what you need is to make a plan and then stick with it. Get the plan in motion without him knowing. Seriously, if he thinks in advance you may actually follow through you're going to come home one day and find he all your electronics missing.
Carey's right about calling the police. I suspect they won't do a lot but it would be helpful to have a record of what you're going to do if things go bad. Advise them of your plan and when you're going to put it into place. Also call a couple of social agencies and see what's available in the way of homeless shelters. Write some contact names and numbers down for him. Contact an emergency locksmith and try to set up to have your locks changed while your roomie is out. Obviously it helps if you know in advance when he'll be out.
Get a friend or relative, or a couple and fill them in on what you're planning to do. If at all possible have them with you while you do it and for some time afterwards. The next time your roomie is at work, or out anywhere, pack all his stuff (I'm guessing there's not a lot), add the shelter list, and put it on the doorstep. Include a brief note advising him that he's no longer welcome in your home and that he is not to try and contact you again. Make it clear that you will call the police if he comes on your property again. Good idea to keep a copy yourself. Get the locks changed right away, or as soon as possible. Update the police.
Then, password your computer, check all your financial records (hopefully they're not lying around somewhere) to ensure that he doesn't have the ability to bill anything to you or your accounts. Change credit card numbers if you even think he's had access. Consider changing your phone number. If he comes back phone the police.
Sound harsh? Maybe. This guy has got your number. He knows you feel for him and he knows that so far you've been bluffing about him leaving. This situation will only get worse for you the longer you wait.
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@ sirinlover
[Read the article: I let a homeless man move in with me and now I can't get rid of him]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The sentence structure is odd: I think she means she begged him not to come to her place and begged him to stay with his brother. Which still might be an option.