Letters to the Editor
loopychick
Published Letters: 40 Editor's Choice: 11
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Not In My Back (Front?) Yard
[Read the article: The strange case of midnight renegade oleander gentrification camouflage]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I understand the LW's desire to uproot or move the new shrubbery, not to mention call the police. Her desire to come to the defense of her neighbour is honourable. Unfortunately, I suspect that any intervention from the LW might only further victimize her elderly neighbour - who sounds, from the LW's account, like a proud woman who values her privacy. No question that the NIMBY across the road has committed a truly offensive and unforgiveable act. Rather than offer assistance of any kind she's all about her own property and, presumably, the view from her doorstep.
In a perfect world the LW would, under cover of darkness and preferably while the NIMBY was away on vacation, not only remove the oleanders, but plant a long row of something across the front of the NIMBY's house. Poison ivy, perhaps. However.......cooler heads.
If I were the LW I'd drop a brief note in her neighbour's mailbox, mentioning what the NIMBY had her gardener do, and offering to help in uprooting and/or moving the oleander if the neighbour so desires. If the neighbour doesn't respond to the note the LW has no choice but to respect that. The LW won't be ratting the NIMBY out as it doesn't appear she's tried to hide what she's done. I might also have a quiet word with the gardener - its very possible he was under the impression the NIMBY had obtained planting permission. Hopefully that conversation would get back to the NIMBY and would make clear the LW's thoughts on the subject.
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Argghhh
[Read the article: The strange case of midnight renegade oleander gentrification camouflage]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Getting more angry every time I re-read the LW's letter. Thoughts of serious revenge swirling in brain. Perhaps expanding on AmyAmyAmy's suggestion by writing Free Plants in very concentrated fertilizer on NIMBY's lawn. Followed by her phone number.
OK, dammit, maybe not : (
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Yesterday's letter
[Read the article: The strange case of midnight renegade oleander gentrification camouflage]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]From March 25th letter:
Editor's note: Due to an editing error, Cary Tennis' Since You Asked column from March 26 contained a letter from a reader who had not authorized it to be published. The column has been removed from the site. Salon regrets the error.
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Keep on keeping on
[Read the article: I am the keeper of secrets]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]What Other Guy says to you should remain between the two of you. What his wife says to you should remain between you and her. Both have confided in you and all you can do is honour their trust. If Other Guy one day finds out that his wife has confided in you, your answer should be that you honoured her request that you say nothing, just as you have honoured Other Guy's request. And you don't tell either one what the other one said.
You aren't betraying anyone. You are equally honouring two people who consider you a good friend. Your thoughts about Other Guy are just that - your thoughts. We all have thoughts about other people, and its not surprising considering the time you spend together at work. Your thoughts are not a betrayal of anyone either.
Its a tough situation to be in but you sound like you're handling it as well as you possibly could.
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Oh, and.......
[Read the article: I am the keeper of secrets]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I have to add that I don't think its at all unreasonable for the LW to tell her husband that both Other Guy and his wife have confided in her about marriage difficulties. It would be weird if she didn't tell her husband. However, she doesn't have to share the details of either conversation.
As Allie correctly points out the LW should avoid at all costs making critical comments about Other Guy to his wife, and vice versa. And if either of them gets nasty about the other in the LW's hearing she has the absolute right to gently point out that she feels uncomfortable with those comments.
And, um, who are we having wine with?? Did I miss something?
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They're not going to be "babies" for ever...
[Read the article: I want a baby so badly it scares me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]On the one hand - I don't believe a woman should ever have to "wait" for a man before taking the big steps in life - house, baby, investments, whatever.
On the other hand - maybe you should spend some time on truemomconfessions.com. It'll give you some idea of the pros and cons of having children with or without a guy in your life.
Good luck!