Another great place to learn how to do it yourself is home depot - or any of the big home improvement stores, they hold classes, hands on all the time for basic plumbing, flooring, painting, any home improvement project you might feel up to doing. They even have teach your kids day. You can do it yourself, and it is more likely to get done.

As for the article the proof to me is the states asking low end workers to to keep working but without pay, like Oregon, Washington or California -- talking about teachers, social workers and clerical, overwhelmingly women. If they get into jobs that guys work, it is unpaid vacation. But they ask the teachers and social workers to work for free, hey the governor might go without pay those days to!! Isn't that great except he can afford it -- the women he is asking to work for free can't.

So if women are picking up the slack and guys are not helping out, what do you need the guy for? Extra dirty clothing for you to wash? Extra dirty dishes? There are guys who don't pull this crap, and there are guys who troll this site who are all bitter ex's ... don't feel guilty if you need to increase the troll numbers.

As for the women state workers they should demand unpaid vacation just like the guys, not unpaid work days....

How many families do you know with multiple kids, but only one turns out badly? Do you still blame the parents? Some times there are just kids who will be complete druggies, fuckups -- no matter how perfect the parents, and all of their bothers and sisters will be fine, they are the only fuck up. Now adays people only have one or two kids, so if they fuck up - the parents think it must be me, no if you'd had another kid they might be fine, sometimes its just the kid.

As for moving, when has that been an issue? Military brats move every couple of years, as a kid everyone I knew moved every couple of years to follow the fathers career paths in international corporations, and the missionary kids did to... and they were fine. Moving doesn't fuck you up -- being abused fucks you up, a feeling of being owed a perfect childhood fucks you up, and the need to punish the parent you end up with after a divorce which all teens have.. If they are with dad after the divorce it is his fault, and mom is the saint and if they are with mom she is the devil (especially with girl kids) and dad the saint.... teenagers are weird. So yes divorce messes them up, but not divorcing and fighting it out messes them up more.

Let it go, you have less influence over your kids than you think, and feeling guilty about it -- well that is the power high the teenager is looking for over you....its a revenge fantasy teenagers have when parents are not exactly like they want them to be, eventually they will go up and get over it.

I grew up moving every couple of years because of my fathers job - like military and missionary kids. And you know what making friends is a simple task if I feel the need -- but then I have the skill set.

What I see is folks who grew up in only one place, then go to school, then finally go to a new place for a job (hey, in this economy you go were the jobs are) -- and they don't know how to make friends, or they come off as strange by trying too hard. Living in one place to long is sheltering, makes you feel safe, and makes sure you are never forced to learn social skills - so lesson one, don't fake it, don't do stuff you wouldn't normally do just to make friends!

Learn to listen, people desperate to make friends, talk to much to fast to get everything out before the other person or opportunity disappears - let people tell you about their stories. What makes friendships is knowing each others stories that you have chosen to define yourself by - and then building mutual stories together going forward.

Also it doesn't mean you have to spend alot of time together - people have life's, just go to movies, events, hang out on weekends.... don't be calling them all the time!

Just because you've moved don't let your old friends go -- make the effort. You don't have 100's of friends on face book, you have the same few that you had before, keep in touch, make the effort -- because in todays economy they maybe moving to your town in the future, coming out for trips...asking you to look out for another friend of theirs who is moving to your town.

So you are sponging off your mom just like dad -- and she is carrying everyone's load. How sad, for her. So how is she going to keep doing that when dad brings home herpes, or genital warts, or hey aids ... sorry mom I knew but it wasn't my place to tell?

By not telling you are helping your father cheat, you are like a get away car driver, the argument that you didn't actually rob the bank doesn't work on the feds. And when she finds out about dad, and that you knew, it won't work for her either.

The real reason you are not telling, is you are worried that she will get mad and tell you to get off your ass, get a job and move out. But she needs the mad, because it will give her the emotional energy to do what she needs to do for her health, and emotional well being, getting rid of the parasite that has been such a great role model for you.