The sum involved, is because she claims that the story damaged her business as a professional lobbiest -- I have issues with that, because if McCain had won the election her business would have improved whether the story was true or not, because she would be seen as having an in with the powers that be. Her loss of clients , is because she backed the wrong party, even if there was no NY Times story, with John McCain's lost, she has lost her value as a lobbiest. She know how to rub elbows with the conservative republican crowd, she has few contacts with the new team -- which is all new from the President on down.

Even if she wins her case that she was smeared, the amount in question will not hold up. Since it is based on lost income, which she would be losing anyway, even with no story.

If still married, even if not living in the same home,

it means -- that both spouses are still liable for all the other spouses debt, medical care, and incase she gets pregnant, he is the dad whether he is in fact or not -- they are married. The law doesn't care if they share an address.

And in the eyes of the law, all relationships outside of marriage are adultery, and can be used during the divorce as character references and grounds. Girlfriend can find herself in court defending her behavior before a judge whose ideal of marriage (say a religious judge) matches the legal definition, and thinks poorly of her, and judges more in the wifes favor. If she has cheated too, the husband has to prove it, does he know with who? She does, you've been living with her husband at the same address. She has a better case, unless she also had a live in boyfriend the husband knows how to find.

If getting a divorce, don't date until it is done - if single don't date anyone still going through an divorce.

You didn't just come out, you told your parents you are going to be an activist talking to local businesses, probably on T.V. and in the papers. So before your parents can absorb or think about what it means to have a child come out, you go and tell them that you are about to go completely public in the biggest way possible, as the leader of a gay movement, so now everyone at their church is going to know, all the other relatives,the neighbors.

Your folks needs some private time to get use to the ideal, before they were ready or over the shock they will now be forced against their will to have to defend you against their friends, and family, co-works and church.... you maybe unhappy, but you've just blown their social safety net -- and I bet you never gave that a moments thought before doing it.

1)Never date a married man -- never, never, never -- it doesn't matter if he has moved out.

2) always meet a persons ex's before you date. No matter how that person makes you feel, even if you think they are soul mates - you know nothing about them, nothing. Meeting their ex's and seeing what there relationship is like tells you a lot. If they are still friends with their ex's -- then you can have a relationship, and if it doesn't work they will treat you with respect.

If the ex hates their guts, then what ever he did to her he will do to you -- you are not special -- this is how he treats women for real, not just during courting. Nice guys, have civil ex's.... Oh I know you'll say she was crazy, it won't be the same with me please, he picked her, she is his type and so are you - and perhaps it was the relationship that made her crazy ... soon you will be in her shoes. NICE GUYS can still talk to ex's, and introduce you without fear - even if the ex is unhappy about the break up.

And yes, I always meet the ex before dating, some unhappy, some angry, but willing to be honest about the relationship - and it means, I've never really dated a crazy guy, never been physically hurt.... just sometimes it doesn't click.

And hey, if you'd already met her, you wouldn't have to take his word for it, and you'd know what the dynamics were in their relationship, and already know were they were going with the current drama. (ie no surprises)

I was able to find the support of gays by the Trinity Church fairly easily - honestly to my surprise because dealing with Black Church's in liberal Portland OR -- this has not been my experience. The feelings on gays here, and the churches down in California -- tells you why prop 8 lost -- they forgot most blacks and Hispanics no matter how Democratic -- would never in a million years vote for gay rights. (And yes I know that there are individuals in those groups who don't feel that way at all - but they were the tipping point for the legislation) (I work on political campaigns on these issues, and going to our normal communities contacts on these issues, just doesn't work...)

However on the issues of abortion/women in the Trinity church-- unfortantly there are so many weird further right than the republican's going off about this church, one can 't find any facts, just a bunch of really scary blogs - that I really didn't need to know existed.

And I still don't see a lot from Obama himself on gay issues, civil unions are code for back off of the gay marriage thing. Unless the government gets out of the marriage business, it doesn't actually grant gays equal rights... it just avoids the issue in a polite way.