And Dick (appropriate name, if it's really his) would do anything to get laid but BATHE.

Didn't I say this place needed deodorizing?

Guys, you could climb Everest if you could get up it , and you still wouldn't be smart enough or tough enough to talk over AKA Smith's head.

Get used to it, because you show no signs of getting over yourselves.

What we have here is a -major- inconsistency. Gathered in Broadsheet and any other places from which they emerge are as scabrous a collection of verbal trolls (We'll ignore Dick's non-bathing habits for the moments) as I have ever seen. The people to whom I'm referring include a few Men's Rights Activists who are so sour I'm certain they fellate lemons, a few Aunts (if you've read THE HANDMAID'S TALE), some of the "oh, aren't I edgy" types...and people who have theories about women, feminism, and sexuality that, essentially, attack women past the level of morality down to the chromosomal level. Some of it's projection, some of it is legal, sexual and financial frustration, and some of it is just plain nuts.

And against that, you say "don't be condescending."

In other words, a group of which I'm a part can be utterly vilified and that's okay. But let me go verbally aggressive, and that's condescending.

In short, women can be trashed, but the Kzin had better be polite.

That's as good as trying to sell a New Yorker the Brooklyn Bridge or catching any one of us in the Nigerian e-mail scams...

Wait a minute...TELL me that you didn't...oh nooooooo

You're 27. It was good you didn't marry your boyfriend: wouldn't have been fair to either of you. Time to grow up. The fear, dissatisfaction and despair you're desribing are growing pains.

First thing: get yourself a copy of WHAT COLOR IS YOUR PARACHUTE? and work through it. All the way through it. Do the exercises. You may find blog-material in it; you may not.

Second thing: therapist. You can't do this alone, and your parents, who love you and are worried, don't need to caretake you while you grow up. You live with them? Make sure you pull your weight. They're not as young as they used to be, and they -are- worried about you and your brother.

Third thing: some sort of job to pay your tuition at your new school: the school of hard knocks. You don't have to like it. You probably won't. But you do need to work toward self-sufficiency. Most people just -do- their work. The lucky ones rhapsodize about how THEY have jobs they LOVE. It would be nice to be lucky or to create a job or all the good stuff people suggest. Have you thought of going back to your college nad graduate school and talking to the career placement people? I'm sure you've done so many things like that and said "yes, but..."

Been there; done that. It's different when you do it with conviction. It -shows- differently on you. And you're playing for the biggest prize you can have: a self and a life you can prize.

Meanwhile, it's the nastiest economy I've seen including 1987, and frankly, you can get a lot of satisfaction out of being self-sustaining. There's a sort of joy in that. Take a journal with you to work and write on the commutes, if you take public transit. If you don't, write on your lunch hour.

You are exactly at the right time in your life to get your stuff together. It will be hard, but if you carry through, it -will- be rewarding. AND you'll be able to have clothes that aren't from Goodwill (try e-Bay; I do).

Good luck.

First, it's "you're", not "your" in this context. People who set themselves up as the arbiter of what should be set themselves up for grammar flames.

You are not the one to decide who or what I am or any woman is.

You are CERTAINLY not the one to say "well, you've got a doctorate so you're some sort of intermediate thing provided I like how you behave."

Don't you realize what you're doing? How much Kool-Aid did they make you drink?

If men were to get their comeuppance, they wouldn't like the results. What you really mean is that you'd like women, especially feminists, to get -their- comeuppance, or what you fantasize they deserve.

Nagging isn't going to do it.

A male nag. Fancy that.

Actually, I don't.

You'd like to hear the tenets of women's comeuppance?

Make it up out of whole cloth, like the rest of your arguments.

I have nothing to gain from enabling you.

That was GORGEOUS.

Anyone want to bet that some fool -- either here or on the tenure-hunt -- is going to "prove" that feminism is responsible for the common cold?

Personally, I thought she came across like a Mensch, with warmth and humor and tremendous unselfishness.

You are more than your voice. For one thing, you're a damn good writer.

If you can't bear to hear opera, I get it. I envy you the training and the voice you had -- just heard Fleming in THAIS.

I subscribed and joined Opera Guild before all hell happened to the markets.

Good luck. I'm not a singer, but I'm a world-class audience.