Apart from flying combat missions, women are barred from most combat MOS by law. Women comprise a growing number of the Armed Forces, and the Marines have just begun a major recruitment campaign to include more of them.

As for sacrifice...what do you call death in childbirth?

It still happens, you know. Or do you?

Please thank your relatives for their service.

Law-abiding, serving, making their own choices and taking care of their people, they are infinitely to be preferred to what I just saw on AP:

WASHINGTON (AP) - Under pressure to increase their numbers, the Army and Marine Corps have sharply raised the number of recruits with felony convictions they are admitting to the services.

Data released by a congressional committee shows that the number of soldiers admitted to the Army with felony records jumped from 249 in 2006 to 511 in 2007. And the number of Marines with felonies rose from 208 to 350.

I think that's under fair use of about 100 words. Of this number, 9 were sex offenders.

I hope he gets the care he needs, both medical and psychiatric, and finds a supportive group that will accept him.

On a related subject: male breast cancer. A friend recently found a lump in his breast. I'm only thankful that he thought to check. Being a realistic sort (and having listened to female friends), he made an appointment with a doctor immediately. He e-mailed me and told me about it. A woman of his age would have known precisely what a mammogram was and the procedure he'd be going through. He didn't. So I explained it, and I explained the way the decisions could go. The lump was benign, but he isn't out of the woods yet.

These sorts of conditions should not be neglected. They're not funny or weird; they're life-threatening. And yes, I thought so before my friend told me he had a problem.

Decent people don't laugh at other people's illnesses.

The USMC does not ban women from combat MOS. The law bans women from combat specializations. The daughter of a good friend who just graduated as 2LT from Army ROTC at Stanford wanted infantry but was legally unable to be assigned to it.

Since Grenada, U.S. women in the military have found themselves in combat, regardless of their specialization.

To say nothing of the women who have been victims of it, unable to defend themselves.

I expect Captain Aylarab (sorry, I'm sure I spelled her name wrong) will be by soon to set the record right.

I agree with you about trolls: both the sullen and the livelier variety.

But Kate, while I realize that there's a prevailing house style in this column, sometimes flippancy goes too far. Perkiness and feminism -- okay, I'm one of the people who, when asked "how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?" will reply "THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

First year Harvard is Godawful, like basic training. But my mother was from Boston, and I'm a third-generation Red Sox fan, so I managed. Roommate situations likewise suck. And you're homesick and you're sick with culture shock, and Stanford or whatever, will take you back.

So you have three good options: stick it out at least for the first year and possibly the second; take a term off and either reenter Harvard or transfer; transfer immediately. They're all valid. You'll be in a more physically comfortable and more familiar environment back in CA: that's the truth. OTOH, the opportunities at Harvard, once you get through first year, are extraordinary.

Now, it sounds as if you have a therapist. When I was there for my doctorate, 60% of undergrads went to the Third Floor where the shrinks lived. That's good. Can you talk to your proctor or your freshman advisor? You want to write. Talk to your expository writing teacher, too. If the expos teacher is any good, s/he will know about the publishing situation in New York, which is not encouraging, but if it's what you want, it's what you want.

My guess is you're tired, you're upset with the roommate situation, and the weather's been frightful. The roommate situation -- I wasn't there; I'm not saying it was anyone's fault; but there's enough in that situation to tell me that wherever you are, you'll take that stuff with you until you deal with it. It'll take time, maybe longer than college. God knows, it did for me.

Cary and Afro Goddess have given you excellent advice. Don't listen to the people who'll blame you for getting in to a place that can help you greatly if you'll let it. If not, I'm sure you'll do just fine at Stanford. Next year, if you stay in Cambridge, you'll be assigned to a House, which sounds very Hogwarts, and is a lot saner than a freshman entryway.

Crazy as the Crimson Zoo can be, have you noticed one thing? Your letter has brought the alumni and alumnae out of the woodwork to offer advice. It's 1:30 where I am. I worked all day and just came back from the opera. I have to be up at 6 today. But you need the words more than I need the rest.

Actually, I think dentists could be the first line of defense for bulimics who don't fit the "usual" profile.

If I'm correct, because of all the vomiting, aren't teeth damaged by the regurgitated stomach acid? That is readily recognizable.

Of course, this posits that bulimics go to the dentist regularly...but it's a good check for anyone.

Even if I could, I don't think I'd spend $4K on a handbag. And if I did, it would be a classic, not a fad, and I wouldn't tell anyone.