Excellent advice about the financial advisor--if Mom is planning to reside with you upon retirement, it's in everyone's interest that she get a handle on her finances. When will retirement be, and will she have any resources at that point to contribute to the household?

My two cents' worth on why getting wildly inappropriate gifts bothers the LW (and most anyone else): especially when the giver is a close relation or an old friend, it makes you wonder if this person really knows you at all.

There's a strong desire in the human psyche to be known, understood, seen for who you are. If you receive a gift that is either completely generic or actually contrary to your personality or beliefs, it can feel like a slap in the face. This isn't a matter of wanting some other gift instead--it's a matter of feeling that you're invisible to a person who means a lot to you.

What's with the coffee-lover's mug set? Doesn't my best friend realize that I don't drink coffee, and haven't for years? Could my own mother be so unaware of my tastes as to think I'd use a gold lamé handbag? For the love of Pete, why don't the people I love most understand me better?

There's clearly more at work here, but when I get an off-kilter gift from a (basically sane) loved one, I think of it as a red flag announcing the need to reconnect.

-no message-

As if on King Kaufman's command, tonight NBC profiled the start-house yelling dude! I didn't catch his name, but he's known as "Baby Huey" and he's almost that gruff and loud when he speaks in his regular voice.

He was obviously tickled about Ted Ligety's big win, and said he'd hollered at the skier to snag a medal-stand flower bouquet to give his mom for Valentine's Day.

If you Tivo'd tonight's show, this piece was just about the last thing they did before signing off for the night.

As if on King Kaufman's command, on Tuesday night NBC profiled the start-house yelling dude! I didn't catch his name, but he's known as "Baby Huey" and he's almost that gruff and loud when he speaks in his regular voice.

He was obviously tickled about Ted Ligety's big win, and said he'd hollered at the skier to snag a medal-stand flower bouquet to give his mom for Valentine's Day.

If you Tivo'd Tuesday night's show, this piece was just about the last thing they did before signing off for the night.

When you laugh and gloat and belittle others, what's in it for you? If laughing and gloating and belittling are their own reward in your worldview, then I say you're a mighty sad individual.

Reading your letter may just cement Ms. Lamott's case in the mind of readers who were on the fence. If your bitterness is the alternative to the kindness and healing she proposes, I'll take it in a heartbeat.

I for one am perfectly willing to let a nitwit like you label me "hippie" for your own purposes. It's no skin off my nose--after all, I certainly don't wear this label in my heart--so you're welcome to use it. I couldn't stop you if I wanted to, so I'll use my energy on things that matter and things that I can change.

About losing the White House ... I think it's important to remember why winning it matters in the first place. Is it about bragging rights, a claim to the soul of the nation, something conceptual like that? Or is it about what will happen in and to our country, and to the rest of the world, during the next four or eight years? I assert that it's the latter--the actions and attitudes of the administration shape the world, for better or worse.

The devolution of election politics into a mere pissing contest/winner-takes-all coup opportunity has rotted the Executive Branch in recent years, and I dare say the current batch of scoundrels, "winners" though they may be, can hardly be a source of pride for anyone.

Not every GOP politician is corrupt. Not every Democratic elected official is a coward. Not every decision the President and his team have made in the past five-plus years has been a disaster, or precipitated one. But the levels of corruption, cowardice, and disaster are still way too high for Americans to tolerate. I love this country, not for what it's doing today but in spite of what it's doing today. I strongly believe in its capacity for redemption--but that will only happen if enough people take off the black-and-white polarized glasses and reach out to find solutions, and to find each other.

If that's too vague and squishy for you, you can always opt out.

For anyone else reading this, don't be fooled--the heckling you hear from the likes of "Cartman" is the product of fear. The current administration is failing miserably, even at spin, and those who simply revel in "being on the winning side" are snarling like cornered dogs at the thought of having to go down with the ship or change loyalties.

Tune out the naysayers and push on. If nothing else comes of your efforts, kindness is never wasted.

Geez, hyperbole much?

I sense that there are grains of useful discussion in your post. I wonder: If you weren't so busy being pissed off, would you have salient and civilized points to make? Or is abuse and broad generalization your only style, whether you're incensed or not?

Post all you like, monsieur. Or, you could just save us all the drama and go piss up a rope.