I'm guessing it's because he's a former pageant queen.

you're concerned that terrorists will realize that we're afraid of teleportation, and will work to develop teleportation technology?

If they spend all their time doing that, I, for one, will be very happy.

This is a beautiful article, about a beautiful essay.

It's such a shame about the film-- if anyone can do it, Neil Gaiman should have been able to (his writing is one of the few obsessions from my teenage years that has survived the cold scrutiny of adulthood). And yet, somehow, not.

let's talk about that HAIR!

"Dr. Fumito Ichinose?"

This whole thing has to be a hoax. Has to.

I hope he's braced for O'Reilly, Coulter, Rush, and the rest of the armchair patriots to call him a phony soldier. I call him a hero.

I am laughing and sniffling at the same time.

Good kids.

I agree with the statement, if not the reasoning.

You put Miracle Whip on your Jell-O? Really?

Miracle Whip is (well, purports to be) mayonnaise.

A: Very. But you know, he's right.

Good one, Ms. Lay.

Has anyone actually been stupid enough to ask this?

It's a death threat, people.

Even this dumb little white girl knows: Yes. Nooses hanging from trees really are that bad.

Idiots. And self-serving idiots at that.

"In answering the oft-asked question, "Are Mormons Christian?" one might ask, only half facetiously, whether Muslims are Christian too."

If you're going to look at it from that perspective, the whole lot are Jewish.

Men, women; fine, whatever.

But a Republican?

Ewww.

There are careers -- certainly not as many as there should be -- out there for talented, intelligent older actresses. But that's exactly the problem Ms. Moore is facing. Once you're over 30, you're not going to get roles -just- for being hot anymore. There needs to be something else there.

And from what I have seen of Ms. Moore's career, there just isn't.

There is no question that it's hard being an aging actress, but getting full-body plastic surgery and then whining about it isn't really the way to change the status quo.

Do they think we have hissy fits when we discover how much our husbands have in their bank accounts? That we flip out when a man comes on to us? That when we get passed over for promotions we walk out of relationships in defeat?

Well, no, because, see, that's all -natural-. They're -supposed- to make more than we do, because all we want is to be provided for. And we like it when even a really unattractive man comes onto us, because without male attention, we are nothing. And that promotion means nothing, because the relationship will provide, and we are secretly relieved because really, what real woman wants her own power or money?

Feminized women are natural, harmless, and make excellent paperweights. Feminized men are clearly deranged by the wrongness of not being in charge. QED. Such as.

Yeah, she's a real feminist icon, all right.

After all, W stands for Women!

Whatever her intent, I'm sure it would make her feel better to be compared to a moose ;-)

All this "she's fat" business is really sickening. Dumb, trashy, and deeply unfortunate? You bet. But fat? Hardly.

I'll take that body type over the Hollywood Stick Insect look any day, thanks.

Maybe it's because my mother-in-law is Norwegian and uses American slang with great creativity, but this one made me giggle like crazy.

Cary, you are a beautiful soul.

"Historian B.R. Burg has argued that the 17th century buccaneers of the Caribbean engaged exclusively in homosexual behavior. Take that, Johnny Depp!)"

Have you seen the movie(s)?

I don't really think it would come as any sort of surprise to him.

why are you trying to get pregnant with this guy?

Everyone knows that atheists eat babies.

I laughed because she really couldn't have answered the question more brilliantly if she'd tried. Or, you know, had a brain. Also, any statement that begins with "I personally believe" is automatically hilarious.

1 - A full head of hair is in fact a sign of youth but not of virility. Male Pattern Baldness is induced by testosterone, and balding men have higher levels. So baldness is actually a sign of virility. Not that that's much comfort aesthetically, but it bears keeping in mind.

2 - I think Cary is hinting around this, but things like this can deepen how we feel about someone. I have loved more than one person in my life, and I found them all beautiful. But each one has also had some ugliness, as I most certainly do, and that made them even more perfect in a way- made them more real to me, and gave me some understanding of their own insecurities.

It sounds like you really love him. Just keep loving him and getting hot for him and he'll know it. It may take some time, but he'll realize you're not going to disappear along with his curls.

Seriously, is this the best Salon can do? Let's talk more about John Edwards' hair.

I really don't give a damn about Paris Hilton.

But I had no idea that the little girl from that picture survived, much less went on to do diplomatic work. I'm stunned and thrilled.

Because pretending to say "motherfucker" is, like, so edgy.

I think if anything, we have Joe McCarthy and his ilk to thank. They're the ones who permanently conflated socialism with communism in the American mind and made a political issue out of what is essentially common human decency - the idea that healthcare is a basic right.

My first-born son will be named Notwithstanding. His sister will be Whatsoever. The family dog's name is Irregardless.

So, I recognize Friedman (aka The Moustache of Understanding), but who's the other one?

Yeah, because if there's one thing the last two presidential elections showed, it's that only candidates who "do their homework" get the job.

Um, not.