OK, I had to take some liberties and connect the dots, but here's what I wound up with. Feel free to improve upon it-- I'm not married to it or anything:

O Baskin! O Robbins! you've stabbed me in the guts,

The mouth has slurped the frigid goo, though poisoned with tree nuts,

The eyes grow dim, and red of rim, the vision all a-blurring,

While bloated fingers drop the spoon, the tongue extrudes a-swelling;

But O throat! throat! throat!

O the puffy cheeks of red,

While on the floor my Carcass lies,

A pumpkin for a head.

[Steps forward bashfully]

I'm not a poet, but a few years ago a local ice cream company, The Jack & Jill Ice Cream Company, got in trouble for failing to list "eggs" as an ingredient on a batch of containers. So I wrote this:

Jack and Jill
Their eggs did chill
It wasn't on the label
Sue got sick
She'd had a lick
And now she's wearing sable!

Hawaii regulators approve first US tuna farm

By AUDREY McAVOY Associated Press Writer

Oct 23rd, 2009 | HONOLULU -- Hawaii regulators have approved a Honolulu company's plan to build the nation's first tuna farm in waters off the Big Island.

Hawaii Oceanic Technology aims to create an environmentally friendly open ocean farm for bigeye tuna, a favorite source for sushi and sashimi that's overfished in the wild. [...]

________________________________

It's pathetic for a layman to try and compete with the legal eagles here, but I am confident that I am correct to assert that, had this been a military installation, it would of course operate in accordance with the Tuna Farm Code of Military Justice.

[rim shot]

I know you're out there-- I can hear ya breathing!

In a sign of discomfort with the White House stance, Fox’s television news competitors refused to go along with a Treasury Department effort on Tuesday to exclude Fox from a round of interviews with the executive-pay czar Kenneth R. Feinberg that was to be conducted with a “pool” camera crew shared by all the networks. [from linked NYT article]
____________________________

I'm just getting to the comments, so this point may have already been covered.

When any of the depraved sacks of shit in government or the corporate media express "solidarity", and putatively principled solidarity at that, it's a story in and of itself.

The ultimate outcome of the media outlets' "refusal to go along" is maddeningly omitted from the article; was the proposed interview held with FOX included, or was it cancelled? I'm not taking the time to root around just now to find the answer.

However, suppose Team Obama called the media's bluff? That is, after getting this collective RSVP refusing the invitation, suppose the administration held the event anyway, or rescheduled it in a more generally accessible format?

Perhaps the event would "flop", insofar as only a handful of lesser-lights would show up-- the Daily Worker, the Armpit Times-Sentinel, etc. Wouldn't the "flop" become a story in and of itself?

It seems to me that the media's solidarity, beneath the disingenuous and pretextual rhetorical principles advanced as its justification, is a power play for control of the agenda.

And they're probably correct to guess that Obama will always accommodate them, since the alternative is to pick up the gauntlet and escalate the conflict with the intent of definitively throwing off the corporate media's stranglehold.

Obama only forces the issue when it comes to facilitating the banksters, tycoons, and generals at the expense of hapless ordinary citizens; otherwise, he'd rather have everyone over for a brewski and a chat-- then back to the status quo salt mines.

Suppose you gave a press conference and nobody came! That's the threat. By yielding to it, the administration empowers the corporate media by conceding that it can't effectively function unless it plays by the corporate media's rules.

Well, that was a proper trick or treater, that was!

A weltanschauung, a raison d’être that can be crystallized down to a single lapidary dictum:

No Fat Chicks on the Beach!

You know, a little too much of the...

[mimes shadowboxing]

Did you see this one? [link@sig]

Pentagon Instructs Officials to Cancel Contracts with ACORN. The Problem: They Don't Exist

While the DoD targets a community group that does no business with the Pentagon, actual corporate crooks go un-confronted and continue to rake in $ billions in contracts.

By Jeremy Scahill

I can't speak for the stupid, of course, nor do I need to-- they excel here at speaking for themselves, and in any case would resent my presuming to pre-empt their compulsion for doing so.

But I commend you for setting forth such a clear and succinct analysis.

Now, let's watch and see how much good it does us.