I am seriously, seriously envious of you. You found a man who is not only happy to have you keep your name, but has no problem giving the kids your name, too. Do you know how much I want to find someone like that to marry??

My mother kept her name, and my parents gave me her name instead of my father's. I am so glad I have her name, because I am much closer to her side of the family.

I can also tell you that it is not weird AT ALL to be a kid who has parents with different last names. My teachers and peers didn't think anything of it; they simply learned that my mother is my mother and my father is my father, even if his last name doesn't match hers and mine. So whether you keep your name and the kids have his name, or if the kids get your name and not his, it's really going to be okay. Don't let "doing it for the kids" be your excuse. If you want to take his name for your own personal satisfaction, great.

This driver's license for illegal immigrants issue is becoming the Bermuda triangle for Democratic presidential candidates!

From an economics standpoint, holiday gift-giving is totally wasteful. See this recent study:

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/blogs/freakonomics/pdf/WaldfogelDeadweightLossXmas.pdf

In my family, we don't give gifts, and everyone is MUCH happier for it. We gather together and eat wonderful food and drink wonderful wine and make wonderful memories. But, I'll admit, this is a lot easier to do in a small family with grown children.

LW, you really will have to decide whether gift-giving is solely about the receiver or if the giver's feelings should be taken into account. I don't know the answer. But you should know that gift cards and especially cash do the most to minimize deadweight loss.

You may think that you can come up with a gift that the receiver will value *more* than its cash value, but you are almost certainly wrong. She might well like that $30 sweater you gave her, but she might like any number of $30 items much more, and you may have no idea what those items are. If she really really wanted that sweater, she'd probably already have it. But most likely, she values it at something less - let's say $10. In other words, if that sweater was $10, she'd buy it. So if you buy it for her, that's $20 out the window.

The exception might be books or music that the recipient hasn't heard of, but that you are absolutely certain he or she would enjoy. Another exception is if you have access to markets that the recipient doesn't - perhaps you live near a noted artisinal cheese farm and your recipient loves fine cheese. And it is definitely true that opening presents is fun, so a gift box does have some value that an envelope doesn't have. The question is: is the value enough to make up for the probable loss of value from the sub-optimal gift you buy.

A classic compromise: get things that can be returned and include the receipt with the gift.

As others have mentioned, the question isn't really about whether women are doing the cooking, but whether they are also doing the all the cleanup as well. If the women are cooking in the kitchen before the meal, then the men should be cleaning in the kitchen after it.

In my 24 years, I have become not only a feminist, but a rather excellent cook as well. I get so much pleasure out of cooking. But I hate doing dishes. My ideal husband is someone who likes being cooked for and is happy to do the dishes afterwards. This seems reasonable, doesn't it?

Um, nice story, Cary. But you conveniently sidestepped her very practical question - what's the kindest way to say you're not interested? So I guess the answer is that there is no good way? Any guys out there want to give some advice?

Because the thing is, even if she gave all these guys another chance or three, most of them are not going to work out. I've been in her situation: I meet a guy from a dating site, he's nice enough but I don't feel particularly intrigued or interested. But I try to be nice and ebullient for the duration of the date. Should I not be? Should I act bored and disinterested? That seems rather rude. But if I'm nice and he does ask me out again, what's the best way to decline?

Seriously, men of Salon. Give a girl some pointers.

Sorry, Candypants, but please acknowledge that your snide opinion is merely that - an opinion.

In my opinion, the 2005 Pride & Prejudice was fantastic, vibrant, and yet in some ways even subtler than the source material. I can't wait to see Atonement.

I cannot believe Salon is okay with this careless use of the word 'feminazi.' Let Camille Paglia blather all she wants, editors, but can't you at least ask her for better word choice there? Do you really have to propagate a Limbaugh-ism that conflates women's liberation with nazism? That word crosses a really important line for me and for all feminists. Not to mention, you know, victims of the holocaust.

For shame.

Why is it all about how women voted for Hillary? Why doesn't anybody mention that men, by an only slightly smaller margin, DIDN'T vote for Hillary?

Somebody PLEASE make Bukk63's post an Editor's Choice.

Edwards was second banana in 2004. There's no way he would accept the veep nom again.