Letters to the Editor
dick dworkin
Published Letters: 693 Editor's Choice: 3
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ALL gender relations in terms of master and servant when most men prefer to see it as TWO EQUALS.
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Without some sort of "arbitrary" advantage such as socially assigned authority, high status roles, money etc., the average man can't compete with the average woman when it comes to sexual and emotional influence. When men and women are economically equal the woman is always in charge. Of course women describe this as meaning only that men can't "abuse" and "exploit" them. Short of hormone treatments that make women's sexual and romantic interest in men as strong and as impervious to distraction/destruction by obnoxious behavior as the sexual and romantic interest men have in women is I don't see this ever changing. Education may help people deal with it but it can't change the underlying facts.
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yeah right lecastor
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]that's why we are talking about a story where slob women can't get their husbands to fuck them.
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the point is, since it apparently needs to be spelled out, is that whatever women do or DON'T to maintain the house
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]doesn't much affect mens' sexual response to them. It's only an issue when we are discussing what women want men to do.
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the point is that men are accountable to women for how the house is maintained
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]but women can do whatever the hell they want and it won't matter.
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The point Laurel, I and a few other women are making here is that for some women (us), it's not any more of an issue than it is for the men.
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If it were no more of an issue for women than it is for men then it would never be an issue at all. Men AND women would do as much or as little housework as they like without any penalty whatever their choice was, like women do now.
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yes, or at least he wouldn't stop fucking her because of it
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]what actually happens though is that, because of innate biological gender differences in what males and females care about, they would BOTH be watching tv, or fucking, and no one would be cleaning the house.
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so am I wrong then?
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]do you believe that of the many women who don't care about keeping a clean or orderly house there are lots of them going without sex from their husbands as a result of their husbands feeling too tired, frazzled, unsupported after spending so much time on housework? Unless this is the case your mockery seems unwarranted.
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You seem to be acknowledging by implication that the situation I describe is vey unlikely
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]what explains that fact? If the economy and the culture were different are you suggesting that lots of women would be lying on the couch drinking beer and watching sports while the men fluttered around them resentfully doing housework and feeling too unloved to have sex?
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I take it then your answer is: "Yes culture COULD produce a society where:
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]women would be lying on the couch drinking beer and watching sports while the men fluttered around them resentfully doing housework and feeling too unloved to have sex?"
You seem reluctant to give a direct answer though, why do you suppose that might be?
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You did say it, sorry I didn't read very carefully.
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]We disagree about what is possible obviously, and while you are more straightford in your (in my opinion delusional)views than most the reality is that even though many women argue that gender is entirely socially constructed most don't really believe it when confronted with specifics. You do apparently, honest but delusional, although maybe not so delusional, after all; taking the position you do allows you to maintain intellectual consistency when you argue that all difference is constucted, and since men and women are different you will never be proved right but since no "acultural" humans will ever be available to study you can never be absolutely proven wrong either.
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he bitches at me to not leave dishes all around the kitchen, but it's his problem if he doesn't like it
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]this is the crux of the matter: why can't men say that to women and not have any more problems than you do?
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there is a lot of evidence of gender differences among newborns by the way
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I doubt neatness specifically is strongly biologically gendered, although sensitivity to the environment may be. There a lots of women slobs but very few women who are NOT slobs who can adapt comfortably to living with a slob the way organized men can accept disorganized women. What is CLEARLY a matter of biology is how much more easily than men that women are put off sex when things are not to their liking.
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Since there are no SEXUALLY MATURE AND SEXUALLY ACTIVE "acultural" humans to study
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I am quite confident that none of the other evidence will convince you.
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there is a huge amount of evidence of innate biological gender difference that matters but since
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]it is physically impossible to see those differences manifested in adult humans in the total absence of culture someone who is determined to deny that meaningful differences exist can never be "forced" to admit otherwise.
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it would be pointless
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]just like it is pointless for men to think that women are going to become as horny as men are if only men are nice enough to them.
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17 minutes, that didn't take long
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]but of course it never does, does it, in general I mean. Really though, sociobiology is to liberals what climate science is to conservatives; because the science impinges on belief systems they regard as sacred nothing will ever be enough. In the conservatives case it is that free markets and traditional ways of doing things are god and regulation is evil, in this case it is essential to deny meaningful innate gender differences because to admit them would make the claim that woman have access via there own emotional reactions to the universal truth for eveyone untenable and the idea that cultural and political change can create a society where men "naturally" do everything the way women want them to is revealed as an impossible to realize fantasy. Of course it may be possible to compel men to conform but, with significant exceptions, people generally prefer to think they can get their way without permanent and extreme tension.
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exactly right. for a woman:
[Read the article: The sexual politics of household chores]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]being treated like a human being=getting everything your way
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the prefrence for male children is going to end when people see how being the surplus gender ruins the kids life
[Read the article: No more babies for you!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]and how being the rare and therefore valued gender makes daughters into REAL little empresses not just within the family but everywhere in the society. In fact this is already happening.