"Offered her a blanket..."

OK, folks, imagine just for a moment that you are sitting in the window seat of an airplane, in coach. You've got a baby on your lap. You've got a husband at your elbow. One thing is for certain, chilly you are not.

Then a helpful flight attendant comes along with a blanket and demands you "cover up." A couple of things come to mind:

1. How clean is that blanket?

2. How come I have to sit under a blanket, when I'm already toasty warm and crowded?

When I put myself in that mother's shoes, I don't want the blanket. If I were clever, I might have carried a cotton shawl to drape for sensitive eyes (!) but I sure as heck don't want a microfiber blanket of dubious cleanliness and unknown history.

My own experience with nursing was that if the kid was latched on, nothing showed that wouldn't show in the average red-carpet outfit of an Emmy nominee. Even so, I generally carried a spare cotton shawl because it was just (sigh) easier.

Annoying. I suggest that in future she carry something light that can be tucked in the diaper bag, because the American public can only deal with breasts when they are festooned with sequins.

Thanks for speaking the truth, King. I'm sick of the non-apologies, and sickened by the notion that a person could speak nostalgically, in loving detail, about lynching and then say with a straight face that he doesn't have a racist bone in his body. Gimme a break.

Given that apologizing now seems to be treated as a game, it seems quite appropriate to me that it be commented on in a sports column.

Years ago I overheard a conversation between my son and one of his friends, when they were in about the fourth grade.

Son mentioned that he was going to visit his dad over the next weekend.

Friend asked, "Your dad, or your donor?"

"Oh, my dad. He and mom were married when I was born and then they divorced and now she's a lesbian," son said, matter of factly.

"Mom says my donor and I can meet when I'm grown up, if we want."

"Oh. That's good."

[pause]

"Wanna play Transformers?"

... and they went right on about their business.

My point in telling the story is that the writer is agonizing now, but the children will not think the whole thing is nearly as unusual as you think it is. Whatever you select, that will be their reality.

The main thing is to get some good sound advice, make your choices with open eyes, and then go on with your life. Don't lie, especially to the children.

Get good legal advice, not from a columnist on salon.com but from a real attorney with expertise in this area. If you don't know of one, contact the National Center for Lesbian Rights at http://www.nclrights.org/ and they can recommend one.

Good luck.

Isn't this what the State of the Union address is for? Why is the President writing Op Ed pieces?

I'd be happy to see the reclining seats in airplanes go away. On my last three flights on Southwest, my seat was permanently reclined -- it wouldn't stay upright. As a result, I had numerous discussions with flight attendants intent on my safety, and emerged from the plane with my back troubles aggravated.

I don't love it when someone reclines into my lap, but I HATE it when my seat won't stay upright. I may get some Knee Defenders for my own seat!

Argh!

There are two children in the middle of this mess. LW doesn't mention their birth mother, doesn't mention their ages, doesn't mention their genders, doesn't mention much at all about them except that they "embraced" the current wife.

We do, however, get a blow-by-blow on how much sex he's getting and how much step-mom may be getting. How nice (?) for the grownups.

I repeat: There are two children in the middle of this mess. From the sound of it, no one is paying much attention to them. Their birth mother is somewhere else, and the adults who are present are obsessed with themselves and their troubles. The troubles may be real: adultery, money, divorce, etc, but meantime those kids are doing... what?

If they "embraced" step-mom: was that for real? Or did they do it to please you? If it was for real, then they are in for (another?) round of loss. If it was to please you, then you really have your work cut out.

First of all, LW, grow up. Cary's right: attend to your kids. If they are school age, check in with teachers and any other adults who know them well: how are they really doing? Are they getting the support they need? Are they putting on an act because they think you can't handle the truth? Kids do that, you know.

Then put together a support system for you and the kids. I'm not talking babysitting for future dates, I'm talking other families to hang out with, other parents you respect who can support you in all the difficult decisions and stages of parenthood. What precisely you do will depend on the ages of your children, but do something.

You may find that by attending to their needs and putting together a healthy social network for yourself, things will shift. You may not feel quite so anxious. You may even meet someone nice, someone who embraces those kids back. But first, attend to those kids!

What is actually recognizable in a first trimester ultrasound?