Thank you for publishing these photos. I hated looking at them, and they are my tax dollars at work.

I've written letters and emails to my elected representatives. Everyone seems to agree that the situations depicted in these photos are reprehensible, that they are the antithesis of everything the United States claims to stand for. Still, the only people who have been held accountable for these crimes are low-level military, young men and women who seem to have believed they were following orders. Orders from whom? And if not from their superior officers, where the heck were those officers? And why haven't the civilian contractors been held accountable as well?

What is the matter with this country, that we can see these photos and then send a few scapegoats off to jail and consider the matter closed?

Publishing the photos is a good start. How about publishing some ideas about how we can DO something about this? I'm out of ideas.

If you can't feel good, try doing some good.

It takes no social skills to write a check. If you write one to a deserving nonprofit, you should get a nice thank you note with your receipt. Take that as practice for interaction: good deed produces a "thank you." Satisfaction all around.

If you write checks, then you will start getting information about deserving nonprofits in the mail, brochures and stuff. Read those. See if anything appeals to you. If nothing does, that's ok. You helped.

Keep a list of good deeds, things that make life easier for someone else. When you feel like your life is not worth anything, check the list. None of those things would have happened without you.

Feeling good is overrated. Doing good is desperately needed.

Good luck.

Right on, Cary. And good for you, LW.

Telling the truth about what we really want can be the beginning of something wonderful. LW now has the opportunity to meet someone for whom her particular tastes are good news -- an opportunity she didn't have when she was pretending.

One thing that makes children scream in airplanes is the change of air pressure. Their ears are not as well able to adapt to changes as are adult ears. I'm always astonished at parents who get on an airplane with little ones with nothing for them to drink or suck on during a flight. A bottle or a juice box for takeoff and landing would cure a lot of the trouble, if applied BEFORE the pain starts.

I never drugged mine for a flight -- both had odd reactions to drugs, and I was afraid of it -- but I traveled with a "bag of tricks" including the juice, small distractions, and some goodies that were only for airplane flights, like a small handheld (silent) video game. 90% of the time, it all worked quite well. The kids were distracted, and were quiet. For the other 10% of the time, I am unapologetic: we all did the best we could.

If a person is going to fly with a child, then it's their responsibility to know the kid and to plan for a reasonably comfortable trip. But given that the parent is doing the best he or she can, then I think it is not unreasonable for people on the plane to remember that we ALL paid for our seats, including the harried mom with the two kids.

One thing that made life a lot more manageable for me when my kids were going through rough times was the realization that many of those "other parents" with the flawless offspring and judgmental opinions were throwing rocks from glass houses.

Many of them had kids with problems, too, but I never heard about it. All I heard was the Ivy League acceptances, the job offers, the successes. This while they were telling me what I had done wrong with my kids.

Our family provided a community service, it seems: everyone else could watch my kids and breathe a secret sigh of relief that at least their kids weren't like HER kids. Except you know what? In some cases, their kids were worse off.

Don't listen to the judgmental baloney. It's just noise. Tune anyone who isn't helpful OUT. You, and your kids, are dealing with things that are real and difficult, and you are trying to do a good, honest job of it.

As far as the kids go, it ain't over, as many other letter writers have said. Goodness knows where your kids would be without you. Tread softly, and get support where you can. Remember that the people with perfect children may be taking inventory of your kids because they are afraid to look too closely at their own.

My sons have each gone through some very rough patches, and we muddled through. Nature or nuture? Who cares? They are human beings, your children, and you love them. You did your best, and there is no way to sort out all the stuff: Your best was your best.

Good luck.

Many dog trainers don't find any need (or any benefit) in hitting to train dogs. I am amazed that there are people who think it is a good idea for children.

Heck, read B.F. Skinner: punishing does not train!

Most of the issues for which spanking parents spank could be resolved with the following: Reward behavior you wish to reinforce. Do not reward (or remove the reward) for behavior you wish to extinguish.

Granted, if a child has ADD or some other difficulty, then a more complex approach is called for. But punishing does not train.