Sounds to me like one thing that's happening, LW, is that you had a mental image of what this semester abroad would be like, and it's different than your plan. Maybe you had fantasies (of course you had fantasies!) of what it would be like, and now it isn't like that. So you got frozen in front of the TV. It happens.

Something similar happened to me, on a year overseas. I had such wonderful dreams about it -- and the reality was not anything close to those dreams.

Cary's advice is excellent. The thing I'd add to it is to suggest that perhaps part of what's going on with you is a bit of grief over the big plans you had that aren't turning out quite as planned.

Are you eating right? Getting enough exercise? Simply getting out there and walking will be good for you, and if you are spending so much time with the TV, you are probably not getting enough exercise. Explore. Get lost and found again. Ask for directions.

The people who wound up being friends my year overseas were an odd assortment. My local corner store guy was my vocabulary tutor for all things food. I asked him the names of things, and he told me. We made little conversations. Eventually I had a friend. Same with the folks at the coffee shop where I was a regular. I didn't find love, or people with whom I would be lifelong friends, but the small connections were golden.

Not what I expected. But the experience of a lifetime nonetheless.

You need other moms, and you need them now.

If you don't know any, call someone: the LaLeche League (since you are nursing), your pediatrician's office, your female relatives (even if you could never stand them before, unless they are terminally toxic) and explain that you need other moms NOW.

You need a cadre of friends who've already been through this, who will see you through the next few months. Then, when that is done, believe it or not, you'll be ready to be someone else's supportive friend.

Whether or not this was a "mistake" this is reality now. You are not a bad mom because the baby is crying. Babies cry. The sounds is designed to drive you bonkers. Later, the day will come when the baby knows better what is bugging her, and you will know better how to interpret the cries. Right now it is a safe bet that neither of you is quite in the groove.

Someone else mentioned hormones. Hormones are huge. If you are feeling this much distress call your OB/GYN, or your pediatrician, or your internist, and TELL THEM HOW YOU ARE FEELING. Simply telling will help a little. If your hormones have sent you off into postpartum depression, no shame in that, but you will need treatment.

Having a baby is a little like going off to boot camp. You are doing things you had no idea you could do, right? A year after my son was born (a colicky little guy who had a hard time with infancy and a mom who fumbled her way through the whole thing) I looked in my mirror and saw a completely changed woman, and most of it was for the better. But there's no denying it was very tough.

You are not alone. The other moms are out there, and they know the stuff you need to know.

Silda Spitzer didn't betray any public trust, as far as we know. It isn't fair to judge her, or question her. We have no way of knowing if she stood with him because she loves him, or because he made a deal with her, or because she's still in shock herself and didn't know what else to do.

I say, dump the hypocrite and lay off his wife. We don't know her story at all, and she owes us nothing at all.

As a nation, we have more important things to think about. I wish we could get half as excited about the Constitution as we do about a sex scandal.

All I can figure is that Our Illustrious Leader doesn't even understand what's happening on Wall Street and in the economy.

Remember, this guy is a trust fund baby who ran every business he was given straight into the ground before he became president. Daddy's friends bailed him out again and again and again. Texas worked out because Governor of Texas is largely a ceremonial position, except for a few things like clemency for death row prisoners (and we all know how GWB worked out for them.) Why anyone thought that he would fare any differently with the U.S. Government is beyond me.

Now we have to see if wiser heads can somehow bail us all out of this mess. We elected him (although I myself didn't vote for him) and now we're stuck with him until January.

Both of my kids, born in the early 80's, wore cloth diapers at home. It is a great solution, either with a service or on your own: almost no diaper rash, and much, much cheaper. Also, when there are bad messes to be dealt with, it IS nice to have a big stack of absorbent cloth for which stains are not an issue.

The problem is that when you take the baby anywhere with child care, be it a daycare environnment, a church nursery, or anywhere else someone else may diaper that baby, they often require that you bring and use disposables. I could understand it (the reasons I was give ranged from "What do we do with a dirty one?" to "I'm scared of the pins.")

It wasn't possible to completely avoid the disposables, but I still recommend them highly. I think they are better for the kid, as well as for the environment.

Wow! Thank you, Lynn, for a fascinating piece and a useful link.

This is the sort of material that keeps me subscribed to Salon.