LW, it took me a bit to figure this out, and it's a trap I see many people fall into:

You cannot will someone into loving you, no matter how much you love them.

It seems that N has moved on. You can, as suggested by others, make one last grand attempt to win her back. The thing is, though, you have to really hear what she says, and abide by it. You must respect her wishes. (If you've read Pride & Prejudice, do NOT be Mr. Collins.) Her wishes and yours may not line up, and you must not become that creepy guy who cannot take no for an answer. You must not become the stalker. If she says no (and I'd bet good money she will), You. Must. Listen.

Or, you can live your life. When you miss N and long for her, let yourself feel it, but do not dwell on it. Sort of say to yourself, "Yeah, N really would have enjoyed this" and then turn your inner conversation to something else.

Remind yourself occasionally in these moments of longing of something that she did that drove you nuts when you were together. Put her firmly in the realm of real people with real flaws, not on your pedestal.

And finally, actually take responsibility for your actions. You didn't just "end up" being a cheater. You made a series of decisions. You chose to have sex with other women. You chose to lie to and betray the woman you say you love. Your relationship may have ended in any case, but you chose to do things to end it.

I'm no expert, but I'd suggest that you see a therapist, your Midwestern reticence notwithstanding. It's kind of hard to have a loving, equal relationship with another person when you place them on a pedestal and obsess over them.

and Thanks. I needed to read that this morning.

I don't have time to read through the comments, so apologies if it's been said.

F*cking hell, how did it ever come down to "the guy you'd like to have a beer with" as an actual qualification for f*cking President of the United States?

I don't want someone "I can relate to." I want someone who can do the damned job. I want someone who is a bazillion times smarter than I am. I want someone who reads and is an intellectual, though with a heaping spoonful of common sense. I want someone who knows and has learned the lessons from history, and not someone who cannot even identify what the Bush Doctrine is. I don't f*cking want someone who's just an ordinary joe!

And the fact that a good chunk of the electorate thinks that voting in someone who's "just like them" is a good idea makes me incredibly angry, and hopeless. Christ on a cracker, if democracies ensure that the people get the government they deserve, we're screwed.

If a fertilized egg is a person, can you imagine the havoc that will be created? I mean, how do you count people for censuses and congressional districts and various statistics, since one can never know exactly how many "people" there are?

Do all women get to file for tax exemptions for "children," even if the "child" never implanted and got flushed down the toilet on a tampon? How many "children" can a woman file for in a year?

Can all women use the carpool lane, because there might be another "person" in there?

How will the state file legal documents (normally called birth certificates) to ascertain the citizenship of fertilized eggs? How will the state file death certificates? Will all women be required to send in their pads and tampons for testing, to ensure that no "people" were conceived and died? Will a woman who had a "person" show up on her tampon be investigated for murder?

Someone may believe that a person is created at fertilization, but it's patently ridiculous for the government to behave as though that's the case. (And that's excluding the fact that the debate over when a potential person becomes an actual person is a religious or philosophical debate, and thus the government should butt out.) Oh, I know, it's all about the baaaaabies, and the practical aspects of such a law be damned! /snark

kufir77-

Sure, a zygote is alive and made of human cells. So's the polyp in my colon.

Legally speaking, personhood begins at birth. To attempt to put that line someplace else results in a huge mess. Viability is a red herring as far as conferring legal rights upon an entity is concerned.

Personally speaking....You know what, no. It's none of your business. I'm not attempting to legislate my personal morality.