And I bet, LW, that you're the asshole who doesn't get up to highway speed on the on ramp. (My pet peeve. Why the hell do you think that they make those nice, long on ramps or extended merging lanes? It ain't so you can sit there with your thumb up your ass at 45 MPH!)

I'd like to be sympathetic. You're clearly terrified. But you and your terror are ironically making the road a less safe place for you and for other drivers.

You're letting your terror con you into thinking that if only you drove the exact speed limit all the time you'll never be in an accident. It isn't true. The best way to avoid an accident is to be in tune with the traffic around you, to pay attention to what other drivers are doing in such a way that you actually obtain information about. You seem to be paying attention, but only in such a way as it feeds your fear.

Take a defensive driving class. I'd suggest therapy. I might be naive, but I don't think that having flashbacks to whatever past event happened to you--assault? mugging? rape?--because of or during your commute is normal or helpful.

Hmm...where did my paragraph breaks go?

LW-

I'm a lot like your girlfriend, with the exception that my job is disliked, not actively hated and my coworkers and bosses are usually tolerable.

My spouse gets home hours before I do, and I'll admit, my worst part of the day when I walk through the door. It's like this facade that I've carried around all day can finally drop, and all the negativity about my job that I have to suppress while I'm there comes welling to the surface. And I do tend to lash out at my spouse on occasion, because he's there and I'm angry. (I know I shouldn't and I do try not to, but sometimes it happens anyway.)

Some things that make our lives easier:

1) When DH sees that I am in a bad mood, he just asks me this: "Would you like to be left alone for now?" And then he leaves me alone when if I answer yes. I like it, because it doesn't pressure me to talk about anything, or do anything, and it lets him know how much space I need. If I'm really being awful, he'll leave himself. It gives both of us some time and space to breathe.

2) Our apartment is big enough that I can flee to the office and just veg out for a half hour. DH lets me have that time and doesn't sulk about it. If yours isn't large enough for her to have a room to herself with a door that closes for half an hour a day, then take the advice of other posters and leave the apartment.

3) Food. I get really, really cranky when I haven't eaten for awhile. Either a snack on the drive home or a quick bite to eat as soon as she gets home might help.

4) When you talk to your GF about it, maybe break it into practicalities without judgment. Let her know that you know that she's been really having a hard time at work, and what does she need when she gets home from work? Have a few suggestions, if she's the type who doesn't want to admit that she really needs you to do anything. If you make it less about how bad she makes you feel, and more about actions that both of you can take to ameliorate the situation, that might help.

LW:

You're not being unreasonable at all--the American economy and political system are rigged to the benefit of the top players. And if we at the bottom are lucky, the Dems are in control so we might get a bone or two thrown our way.

You do sound really overwhelmed, though. You have a newborn. Have you gotten yourself checked out for postpartum depression? Is your husband really helping out a home? Can you hand the infant off to friends or relatives for a night, so you can get some sleep? I'm not a parent myself, but those of my friends and family who have kids seem to have really had their worlds turned upside down by their first ones. Not in a bad way, necessarily. Just in a everything is completely different for the rest of their lives way.

When you get stuck on a negative loop--constantly replaying the battle with the insurance call center, or focusing on how many lobbyists overrun Washington, whatever--it can help to deliberately break the chain of thought. Focus on a flower; think about your favorite book; compose a letter in your head to your favorite relative. I struggle with depression, and this tactic doesn't always completely stop the negative feedback loop, but it can help to have little distractions in between whatever horrible thoughts are overwhelming you.

Once you've gotten through the daze of having a newborn in the house, take small steps as you are able. You can't change the world, and neither can you probably withdraw from it, but you can, say, be frugal and sock away as much money as you can. You can recycle and buy as much organic/non-toxic products as you can afford. You can volunteer in your community. We all want to save the world, but almost none of us can. We can only do our small parts to improve the sometimes hellish world around us.