Letters to the Editor

• How I've seen it work

  [Read the article: Does Huckabee believe wives should "graciously submit" to their husbands?]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  Recently, we lost my sister-in-law to this version of religion, the submission, you have to take an oath that the man is the leader of the home and has to love his wife as he would himself and she has to submit graciously to him.

  How I saw this work was on Thanksgiving last year, all of a sudden he packed up the kids in the car, then said time to go. She said, "But I'm in the middle of eating my pie and talking to my mom"

  "I said it's time to go"

  She left in tears.

  Next happenstance, my grandmother-in-law calling sister

  "X, your aunt is going senile and might be dying, she hasn't seen the newest grandbaby, could you bring him over?"

  "Let me ask"

  "oh, sorry, we can't come we've already made plan to see hubby's grandma"

  "Well can we make a time or something, auntie isn't here very often?"

  "Uh, I have to ask Y, I'll let you know"

  Grandma hangs up angrily.

  Now that doesn't sound bad, but here is the context, the sick aunt lives over an hour away and rarely is driven to grandma's house. Sister and hubby see hubby's grandma everyday, they live 10 minutes from her, she is in perfect health.

  The last, my mother-in-law wanted to see the babies, hubby said no. We haven't seen sister-in-law in almost a year now.

  It's all crap, I can't imagine any scenario where my husband tells me where I can and can't take my children unless I'm thinking hey lets take em to the bar! If he were to say no, I can't take the kids to see my mother, I'd tell him to go shove it up his ass and go anyway.

  Sure, she has a job, they simply can't afford for her not to. But anytime he doesn't like her idea, anytime he prefers the way his mom did something, he gets his way. May I mention that he is an only child who got his way growing up?

  But basically, she has rejected her family because he's decided that his family is better and he doesn't want to have anything to do with us. Needless to say, we watched her transformation over the few years they've been married and we didn't like it so, no, we don't like him.

  Sure the whole submission thing sounds all loving, it doesn't really sound all that bad, but really, somehow men are naturally gifted with knowing how to run a home, what the best decisions are for the whole family because why exactly? Yeah, they give lip service to the whole well of course he discusses it with his wife and takes her interests into account. Really? Is that how it works, I've never known compromise to work that way. You know like with work, I submit to my bosses will. I can make input, but it's ulitmately up to them and that is acceptable because it's not an equal relationship, they supervise me and pay my salary.

  No way in fucking hell would I let my husband treat me the way a boss does. My husband is not my boss, he is not in charge of me, nor am I in charge of him. I didn't marry a child, I married an adult where it's either we both are happy.

  Really think about it, they marital household roles not on an individual basis, but based upon genetalia. Yes, I'm supposed to believe that in the Lord's infinite wisdom, they he set up human relationships work best as long as the man always has the final say. Then my religious family wonders why I reject all that horseshit.

  Permalink Tuesday, December 11, 2007 02:02 PM