Letters to the Editor
Lestat1
Published Letters: 456 Editor's Choice: 21
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I agree with Cary
[Read the article: Isn't 16 a little young for marriage? ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Go to this wedding, because you love your neice and your daughter loves her cousin.
Don't blame these kids for wanting freedom, the only freedom they are offered in their home schooled religion is the only way world. The know not what is out there, they know what their trusted parents and instructors and church elders have told them.
Also, if this marriage fails and their community shuns them it may be good to know that good ol' secular auntie will take her in and show her how to live outside the constraints of church structure. She won't be likely to run to a person who wasn't even willing to show up at her wedding. Maybe buy her a gift about how to budget money for a newlywed couple or some other book that will help this new couple forge a life but not offend their religious teachings, with a note of reassurance and please call I'll always be here for you. Be open to listening to her.
In regards to your child, explain the reality of why these two lovebirds got married at 16. Explain to her that they only got married so they could have sex and that to you, having sex is not a reason to get married. Explain to her all that marriage entails, it's not easy at all and how much people can change in their viewpoints from 16 to 25. That a 16 year old isn't even really sure who she is, let alone what kind of mother or wife she will make. Before this cousin of hers knows it she'll be underfoot of 5 kids and starting to wonder if there ever could have been something else for her. Explain to her that her parents denied her freedom, they denied her knowledge because they are afraid for her soul and they fear new things. Just do it after the wedding so she doesn't go spilling to cousin how auntie really feels.
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How dare they not follow my world viewpoint, I'm not going!
[Read the article: Isn't 16 a little young for marriage? ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]For crying out loud people, when others choose to live their lives differently from you, when they make different choices for their lives, you are supposed to be tolerant and say, hey I wouldn't do that, but more power to ya and make a toast. There is no proof of abuse, other than a belief that religious indoctrination is abuse.
You don't like religion fine, don't do it.
You don't like youthful marriages, don't let your kids do it.
It's the mantra of the left regarding abortion and gay marriage isn't it? Keep your damn hands off our lives, our choices. You want people to be tolerant of your choices, you show by doing, not by being saying you're hateful and close minded, let us show you how close minded we can be too!
Getting married at 16 is not the end of the world, it's just a mistake. Like not going to college, or getting pregnant young and being a single mom (but I doubt any of you would say boycott that baby shower) or getting yourself into massive debt. Yes the odds are against them, but plenty of people getting married in their 20's, 30's and 40's fail too. Plenty of people getting married in their 20's, 30's and 40's allow their spouse to rule the home and bow to everything their husband says. Plenty of women give up their careers, their independance in service of family and if and when get left find themselves in dire straights and plenty of them are secular people. Even if/when this marriage fails, I don't think her life is over, if she's smart, driven she'll be able to figure out how to pull herself up and support herself and children. Her christian family also will help support her, you know those multi-generational homes, well this is probably going to be one of them. Maybe she'll be happy like that Duggar mother with 16 kids.
I understand the anger at how religious people try to meddle in our lives, but you won't get any change by being equally angry and vengeful. And this LW won't score any points with her husband and daughter by throwing a tantrum and considering it's his family, it's not her place to create a wedge between him and his family because she doesn't agree with this marriage, this choice.