What a fascinating coincidence that this jerky young asshat decided to pick today (or maybe a couple of days ago) to write to Cary and ask about purchasing a gun.

Stop being so dmaned conflicted and get over youself, say I. There's no place for guns in a civilized society. If today hasn't proved it, what will it take you people to realize there is NO safe way for people to own firearms????!!!?

Gotta say, I don't think this is fake. For one thing, a dear friend of mine is living with a guy who was missing a lot of teeth, and used to make himself fake teeth out of cork painted with gesso, to stick in the holes when they went out (she has since paid for his dental work, like the sap that she is about him, but that's another story).

Also, I'm steadily losing bits of the backs of my upper teeth, as old amalgam fillings drop out and the surrounding tooth chips away. The moment there were a VISIBLE missing tooth, I would go to a dentist, but until then, I am (a) terrified of dentists and (b) poorly insured.

I am a very educated, middle class, pretty and presentable woman, and yet my teeth are a mess, so I know from personal experience that those things are not mutually exclusive. My insurance covers $1,500 a year. A few months ago, my husband made me an appointment and then drug me, almost kicking and screaming, to a dentist for a consult. The result? $11 thousand dollah, no hollah, and since I have poor credit, I couldn't even get a dental loan (yes, they have those now).

Not only that, but the way my insurance coverage works, I couldn't just plunk down the $1,500 to pay for the worst stuff to be fixed, to shore up my teeth while I put money away in savings to take care of the rest of it.

Of course, I brush my teeth twice a day, floss, and am a maniac about keeping my gums healthy, and I don't smoke, but I can see that this sort of thing is a slippery slope.

That being said: page hits.

For just glossing over "menopausal nutcases" and not even going there. Much appreciated. The poor writer has clearly reached the end of his rope. You nicely and rationally just addressed the substance, and not the hysterical name-calling that he's descended to.

Thank you, Mike B. Isn't this supposed to be an ADVICE column? I guess Cary's head got so swollen when the LW praised his "poetry" that he forgot she was actually asking for his opinion on what she should DO.

Sigh.

... tell me that this article doesn't exist.

A review of user reviews? By a self-proclaimed "cultural critic?" Who lives in New York City but apparently has an apartment large enough to store pallets of nasal tissue? And who lives in New York City and can't just go down to the corner bodega to buy a box of nose wipes?!?!?!?!

Words fail me, seriously. You talk about your basic Bread and Circuses. We deserve to be an empire in decline. What a waste of my time (I somehow got sucked in to reading this, and am horribly sorry I did - but the whole enterprise has a "staring at a car wreck" wuality about it), of everyone else's time - of the writer's time! And what a perfect example of how far Americans in general have their heads up their asses. Like this matters.

You want to worry about something? Worry about global warming. Worry about the kids in Bed Stuy who won't have a toy for "the holidays." Worry about the NYC school system. Worry about Darfur.

Sheesh.

Borrowing $2000 from Dad does NOT constitute being "grown up." $10K in debt can be paid back in a year, if the borrower isn't pampered and spoiled.

Amazing. Just AMAZING.

Who is this guy dating that he gets an excerpt from his lame memoir posted on salon.com?

This read more like a fantasy excerpt from "Friends, The Divorce Years" than like someone's real life. Maybe the fact that it's an excerpt is the problem, but it still seemed like the author was all over the place - in two short pages we get nappy hair/raising a bi-racial child, nanny worries, sex shop stories (hello? internet shopping?), lame bar anecdotes, a pean to endorphins, and WAY too much bragging about how many women are coming on to him.

And speaking of which, did that sound off to anyone else? The premise is that Our Hero isn't getting laid. Yet he has a nanny in place so he's got time to go out (who, just so we know, is coming on to him), women are hitting on him in bars, the "yogi-ettes" in his yoga class (or whatever condescending name he called them) are, yes, you guessed it - coming on to him. His ultra-hep ex (we can tell because of the raw foods reference) is in his place with her own key, making his stomach churn - we're clearly supposed to think there's still hotness between them... I mean, it's ludicrous! Close the deal with one of them and get laid, already! And spare us the lame prose!

As for the "the girls found your sex toy and were fighting with it" scene, did anyone actually believe that? I didn't. Sheesh.

Same here. Ditto. Didn't anyone else notice that totally egregious use of the pejorative "Jew-fro?"

Stopped me cold in my tracks.