You make some good points. I was formerly a long time reader of Newsday and I always found Marlette to be a bit dubious. Btw, I didn't feel "bullied" by your letter at all. I must be one of them evil folks too. LOL.

The last thing Singles need is yet another tiresome "How To Get Married" class/book/lecture/article followed by the even more tiresome litany of incredibly smug "advice" - like "compared to my girlfriends....my desperate girlfriends...I've been married a thousand years..." and so on.

The qualities needed to make a marriage work (compatibilty, trust, respect, honesty, patience, financial sense, etc.) are the things that are needed to make ANY worthwhile relationship work. Duh. See, I didn't even need a "Singles Educator" to tell me that.

Again, there is no magic bullet advice. You make your choices and do the best you can.

Also, the LW who raised the "marriage as the end all" angle made good points.

You concern for the children and relationships of people who should NOT be having kids is touching. Really, it's just so selfless. Keep up the good work. Society thanks you.

YOU put your story out there to back up your opinion and now you're seemingly upset because someone commented on it in a way you didn't like? This is not an echo chamber.

Er, although he is predictably wrong, you being married is not proof he is wrong. If you were happily single he would still be wrong. Try another pudding.

Let's cut to the chase. Although I think the stuff about Bond's Mistress is gratuitous, my take on this is that it's more of the same. I wonder why these revelations didn't make it into the Chronicle proper though. Anyway, if you asterik Bond's numbers based on a reasonable suspicion, you'd probably have to asterik the whole period. Look at the range of players who were busted just last year - minor leaguers, utility players, sluggers, pitchers, etc. The fact that the users are ahead of enforcers doesn't surprise me. What does surprise me is how widespread the use seems to be.

Also if you're going down the "outrage" road that a lot of hyperventilating sports reporters are going down now, you better take a good hard look at the "innocent Golden Era" where men were men and everything was wonderful...and everybody ate uppers like candy. Baseball quietly made uppers illegal last year. What? You thought a regularly hung over Mickey Mantle just carried on the next day through sheer Golden Boy looks and force of will? Down the sippery slope we go.

I think I better put my innocence away before I lose it again.

For now, the difference between the two is the difference between allegations and facts. Sure, there's a lot of smoke around Bonds but he (unlike Palmerio) has tested negative and maintains his innocence whereas Rose was caught betting and went to jail. Also, there is the technical matter of baseball not having a steriod policy in place until recently while always having a no gambling policy. Morality wise? Eh, if writers want to keep him out of the HOF based on "morality" they are free to do so, but they better not take too hard a look at all of the folks in the Hall. Bonds and Rose are asses so I'll imagine a lot of public and writers wouldn't mind seeing both of them being held out.

If I recall correctly, it was reported that he testified he relied on his trainer and never knowingly took steroids. While that may be hard to believe, it's not an admission that he did so.

I do get your point David but the "intent" shading is important.

...are the "fans" who want to holler cheat at suspected steroid users in baseball but ignore the other long standing pervasive and illegal performance enhancer that's been right under their noses for generations. How long ago did "Ball Four" come out? Amphetamines have been so widepsread and common that they are almost an afterthought.

Also, athletes are way bigger than the average Joe now as opposed to the "Golden Age" not because they, for the most part, are "genetically engineered freaks", it's because the training facilities/programs are much better and they make more money and can train during the offseason and people (including athletes) are bigger in general.

Thank you for the scores. I will give them all the consideration they deserve.

Please carry on with your noble concern for the children from broken homes. I'm sure a Letters Forum about an article about one way people can avoid bad relationships is the best place to express your obvious concern for those children and your disdain for the parents who shouldn't have had them in the first place.

Hey Cosmicmojo,

I think we're saying the same thing, no? It's not about validation or proving anything. "B.S." (lol) is wrong regardless of whether you, I or anyone else are married, single, etc. because he hasn't realized that his attitude is keeping him from his stated goals. IOW, our status is irrelevant to his issue.

For the kids, eh? Barry Bonds is jeporadizing the health of all aspiring ballplayers? No, he might have hurt his own health but that's about it. Any "aspiring ballplayer" taking performance enhancing drugs knows the risks and rewards and is responsible for his or her own behavior. Those drugs have been around a long time. Laying it at Bonds feet is overwrought.

Glorifying a wife beater? Where did that come from? Asteriks? Fine then, except the asterick proposed is very questionable. To attribute "most" of his success from '98 onward to performance enhancers is a big reach. Again, if we're going to asterick stuff we better get ready to look honestly at everything. I'm still a bit bemused about how steroids are a stain on the games integrity but amphetamines get a pass.