Letters to the Editor
Published Letters: 24 Editor's Choice: 5
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I'm still angry at my father
[Read the article: I'm still angry at my father -- what happened in my childhood?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You give common sense suggestions to this very sad and angry man.
It would be even more helpful to inform him about Neuro Linguistic Programming methods for changing negative, self destructive thought patterns and feelings. Often rather quickly.
I recommend the new book: NLP THE NEW TECHNOLOGY OF ACHIEVEMENTE, by Steve Andreas et. al. Pub. by Nightingale-Conant He can find NLP people via the internet.
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my wife to be atteacks me with her fists
[Read the article: My wife-to-be attacks me with her fists]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My compliments on emphasizing how the victim plays in role in abuse.
This is a classic male/female story: Woman wants to CONNECT emotionally/verbally. We men are typically less skilled verbally and even more emotionally illiterate than most women.
You also did well to emphasize their need to learn skills so they could discuss emotions rather than act them out.
My only additional suggestion is this: "therapy" sometimes or often means talking about problems with a therapist who listens sympathetically and makes suggestions. Results are spotty or non existent. On the other hand, a competent therapist knows how to analyze patterns and quickly install new patterns of behavior. May I commend the best book I know on current ways to make changes in automatic behaviors: NLP, THE NEW TECHNOLOGY OF ACHIEVEMENT, Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner, available on Amazon.
I enjoy your column. Ron Soderquist, Ph.D.
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wonderful
[Read the article: Mom's the word]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You did it again. A simply delightful, wonderful piece which I am sending to my attorney son who wears suits and ties but when he was 16 we couldn't see his face for the hair and beard and who hung around with other hippies and smoked pot and now all of them have doctor's degrees and wives and children and my son loves Shakespeare and may actually write that sonnet. Garrison, you brighten our lives. Blessings on you, from a fellow Lutheran, Ron Soderquist
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UNHAPPILY
[Read the article: Unhappily ever after]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The Forbes flap about women, because it is so extreme, may prove beneficial both for women's struggle for equality and for healthy male-female dialogue.
My wife and I, both professional marriage counselors, recently published a self help book for couples, EQUALITY! SECRET OF LASTING LOVE. We chose the theme of EQUALITY for several reasons. First, there is solid research backing the proposition that couples with an egalitarian relationship have a happier, healthier relationship, including a better sex life than non-egalitarian couples. Secondly, couples seeking help often frame their problems in equality/fairness terms. Thirdly, there is considerable evidence that women throughout the world, not only in Western cultures, are keenly aware of their unfinished struggle for equality.
Thank you for writing about this theme.
Ronald Soderquist, Ph.D.
drron@westlakehypnosis.com
westlakehypnosis.com
SUNLITPRESS.COM
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our family's recovery
[Read the article: Our family's recovery]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Unfortunately this grieving family assumes they must grieve indefinitely and that only time will bring some element of healing.
Fortunately we now have some understanding of how the human mind processes trauma.
Some Vietnam veterans and Iraq veterans, have received help from therapists who specialize in post-traumatic stress. These specialists, trained in NLP or EMDR, or some other methods, can help the inner mind change the way it processes the trauma.
It would be a service to your readers to do an article on this new "mind technology".
You could begin with the writings of Steve Andres, for example, NLP THE NEW TECHNOLOGY OF ACHIEVEMENT.
If this family had all suffered a broken bone as a result of the Twin Towers tragedy, we would assume the body would find ways, with medical help, to heal itself.
It is now, usually, appropriate to make the same assumption about traumas of the mind and spirit.
Ronald Soderquist, Ph.D.
drron@westlakehypnosis.com
A
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I came home....
[Read the article: I came home to be with my dying father and now I feel stuck]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You have written a moving response to the young woman who returned to her little home town to be with her dying father. I love your response because it speaks to her inner self, to her soul, one might say, to her roots and to her dreams. Your counsel, in our fast food, hurry up culture, is ironically almost unAmerican because you advise her to wait, to look, to take photos, to take her time. In a culture where we tap the horn when someone hesitates two seconds after the light turns green you remind her there is time to take time.
My compliments to you for a thoughtful and wise answer to help a young woman sort out her feelings and plans.
from Ron Soderquist, Ph.D.
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fiancee's to die
[Read the article: I want my fiancée's exes to die violent, painful deaths]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Your sweetheart has a boundaries problem. I can guarantee this will show up in all sorts of ways. Because the mind is a lot like a computer, one might say her computer doesn't have boundaries software. You can't install it with arguments or discussion. If she wants bounaries software installed she could find a competent therapist who could do it. But she may not want that program. She has had an interesting life without a bounaries program. Why would she want to change?
As for yourself, did you choose someone without that program because your boundaries are too restrictive? Were you looking for balance?
We have a 52% national divorce rate. Go ahead and marry and you will be among the majority. I would bet on it.
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friends with principal
[Read the article: I'm friends with the principal -- and sick of hiding it!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Assuming, as you say, it is not a sexual relationship, it is amusing to consider how different it would be for the father of a student striking up friendship with a male principal. First, they wouldn't spend time talking over coffee. They would meet for tennis or racquetball. Secondly, there wouldn't be any stress about keeping this secret from a close friend because he wouldn't have any close friends. Recent research found that only 2% of men share problems with a friend.
Let's face it, we males have it easier in all sorts of ways. On the other hand, because we tend to be so emotionally illiterate, and we hate to talk about personal issues, we are much more likely to engage in homicide or suicide. Ron Soderquist, Ph.D.