Locker rooms are segregated by sex for the same reason we have separate bathrooms. We share these private spaces with others who have the same bodies, same parts, same functions. As a hetero woman, I would rather change in a roomful of lesbians than in front of even a few men, straight or gay. And, surprise America! If you have ever used a public changing room or bathroom or locker room, then you have already been naked in front of a gay person. And yet, you managed to escape unharmed.

As for the Duke t-shirt thing – Nick Horvath is a friend of mine, so because I knew that he supported the cause, I made the assumption that Shav did too. I'm sorry to find that I was mistaken. Someone asked why people were singling him out, and for me, it's this disappointment in him, but it's also the tone of his comments. It's that "You guys know what I'm talkin' about, right?" attitude. The one that suggests that he believes no one around would disagree with him. Maybe that's the fault of a system that encourages him to make that assumption.

What's puzzling about this is that while Shavlik Randolph played at Duke, there was a big story in the papers about how he and Nick Horvath were seen on campus wearing GLBT giveaway t-shirts that read, "Gay? Fine by me."

Maybe he thinks gay is okay when it comes to women because "that's hot," so he wore the shirt as a little wink-wink to other Maxim-reading homophobes. It's probably more likely that he just wanted a free t-shirt, and that he really didn't care about civil rights. But until this, I believed that he was taking a stand as a public figure at a big-name school; that he'd tried opening his mind, as you do when you go to college. Maybe he did try, in that moment, but the attempt obviously failed.

Randolph's comments should be unacceptable in the NBA, if for no other reason than that they create a hostile working environment. This is the issue that Stern's weak stance doesn't address. So the NBA only asks that you have game? Well, what can its players ask of the NBA in return for good play? Just a paycheck? How about the promise of protection from harassment? How about fair treatment?

If the league stood up to comments like Randolph's, and showed its support for all employees regardless of sexuality, that would create an environment in which gay players and coaches might feel secure enough to come out.

"Since we've not used our teeth much in the manner since the Stone Age, it's logical to assume that evolution would reflect the canine's increasing obselesence." - Skylance

Actually, evolution doesn't just do away with things that aren't used, unless the thing in question leads to early death. Human canine teeth would only get smaller if that made people more attractive sexually, or if big canine teeth cause people to die young.

Anyway, I know your point was that the purpose of canines isn't to chew through meat. It's just a slippery slope to use "evolution" as evidence for either side of what is really a moral issue. Choosing to eat meat or choosing to eat vegetables at this stage has zero to do with cause or effect of human evolution, unless one of the two makes people more fertile or more likely to die young.

God love ya, Andrew O'Hehir. You do a noble service by writing about great films that deserve more attention. But working "Please, Hammer, don't hurt him!" into the review of Haven totally made my day, and now I find myself wishing you would cover more stinkers.

So, you're 17 years old, and ready, and in a great relationship, and you have sex. And it's – whatever, it's teenage sex.

And then you tearfully break up with that somebody once you get to college. You're introduced to the "dating" culture, which primarily involves silly hookups and the occasional dinner-and-a-kegger. These don't really get you in the mood - maybe it's the guy, maybe it's the ubiquitous patchouli stink, maybe it's the jam band shit on the stereo. So you make out. You fool around. You don't have Official Capital S Sex.

After college, the random encounters are less frequent. You still don't meet anyone who simultaneously makes you laugh and turns you on. By the time you do meet one of those guys, it's been six years since you've had sex. But it's like riding a bike, right? So no big deal.

Now, just subtract the having sex part of that teenage relationship, and you've probably got the picture for a number of 20- or 30-something virgins. Not freaks, not psychos. Just not interested in the people they've met so far, and not willing to have sex when they don't feel like it. Choosing when, where and with whom to have sex is empowering. It's a right we've fought for, and it's pointless and hurtful to namecall each other for making a different decision.

Here are a few sample responses I've used in similar situations:

"Oh, I stopped trying to impress people with my taste in movies/books/TV/music years ago."

"Well, I spent four years at [Awesome University] working my ass off to earn the right to read/watch/listen to whatever I choose."

"You know, I used to feel really silly/insecure/embarrassed about enjoying stuff like this, but then I grew up."

"Don't you think we're all too old to still care about passing the 'cool' test? It's so exhausting."

Growing up is about becoming comfortable with who you are and what you like, and not trying so goddamn hard to be cool anymore. It's very liberating not to be vulnerable in those conversations.

By saying and believing that you aren't controlled by her opinions, you take away her power without causing a scene. She probably does this to EVERYBODY, and they will be relieved to hear you say what they've all been thinking.