I'm a bit distressed by the tenor of response to the question of boys' performance in school. Some of the responses smack of "about time boys got a raw deal."

In almost all areas of American society women are put at a disadvantage. One need only look at the number of women who are chief executive officers, or chief financial officers at large corporations to realize that the playing field is not level.

But, a disparity in one area, does not mean that a disparity in another realm is impossible. As the parent of two boys — ages 10 and 13 — I can tell you that the issues is real. Talk to just about any parent of an adolescent boy and they'll tell you a similar story. It's hard to believe that every boy is a screw-up and that all parents of boys are asleep at the wheel.

Rather than treating this as something of interest or importance, much of the 'progresive' press seems to just dismiss the trend as either an anomoly or whining from the fringe. Just beneath the dismissal is an implication that boys and their parents are somehow getting what they deserve.

Making this into a battle between boys and girls, or men and women, is a waste of time. If the education system is failing to deliver for half of its population that's a problem. I'd be just as concerned if this was a 'girls' crisis,' because, frankly, it's a childhood problem, not a boy vs. girl issue.

I know he's a genre-busting genius, adept at everything from screaming guitar rock to avant garde classical excursions. But honestly — does anyone actually ever listen to Frank Zappa. Not as an academic exercise, but simply because you were driving home from work Tuesday and thought, "Man, I'd love to listen to 'Uncle Meat' when I get home."

Or anything he did.

Maybe I'm just still bitter that I spent nearly $30 my freshman year of college, which was in 1982 when $30 bought a lot of beer, to buy 'Uncle Meat.' My Bible at that point in my life was the first edition of the 'Rolling Stone Record Guide.' I devoted myself to buying all the five-star, 'essential' albums, of which 'Uncle Meat' was one.

I listened to it over and over, angry with myself for not getting the 'genius' of it. Then I realized it just was unlistenable.

And frankly everything else I've ever heard from Zappa is just so smugly pleased with its cleverness and/or high wank quotient.

In fairness, he probably was the smartest rock star around and his death took away a trenchant social critic.

But I still never feel like listening to 'Uncle Meat' after a day at work, or ever.

Okay, I've seen my share of crap shows — really bad sound, really bad band, good band having an off night, bored band that doesn't care if you know it, etc.

But the worst part of the concert experience is the crowd. I actually got into a tussle at a Richard Thompson solo acoustic show. Guy and his "dudes" wouldn't shut up after being politely asked multiple times and security did nothing. It ended up with some shoving and security finally told the group to go a different part of the hall. Later one of them had a go with me in the bathroom.

I had to pull a guy off my 10-year-old son at a punk show when he tried to crowd to the front of the stage. Fortunately, security was on the situation and escorted the gent from the hall none to gently. No one likes seeing a little kid pushed around.

I could go on and on, but the bottom line is that if you want to talk about your kids, your girlfriend/boyfriend, or the evils of the Bush administration, then get a bottle of wine, buy the band's CD and listen at home.

It's gotten to a point where I'm really reluctant to go to a show and my wife is sick of me getting in a tussle with someone.

Oh, and if you want to explore your partners oral cavity with your tongue, get a room.

This isn't just me bitching, all my concert-going friends notice the same trend. People who want to say they were there, but who don't want to listen and don't care if you get to listen either.

I've enjoyed reading the recommendations, but especially enjoyed the letters about concert behavior.

It seems most of the obnoxious behavior stems from people who want to be part of the show. We get that you're with your friends, that you're cool, that you've had a bit to drink. Now just shut up and let us enjoy the show.

I also wanted to put in a plug for the Bouncing Souls. A great live band that manages to connect with the audience and each other almost effortlessly. The music's punk, but not the "I'm going to destroy society and kill you in the process" type, but more of a style based on friendship and keeping hope alive. Corny sounding, but great live.