Certainly a high-level degree does not guarantee one a life of great importance. I’m guessing that no one has ever told the “gifted” LW that. The view of life from the Ivy League is often skewed and unrealistic. The students often think that they are very special and the future world is at their command. The university faculty and administration do everything they can to reinforce this idea because it justifies their own inflated egos, astronomical tuition, and elitist admissions selectivity. What a shock it must be to graduate from one of these schools only to discover that everyday working life isn’t so glamorous and that the road to the top is difficult and has only just started. I can see how it would be tempting to quit it all and do some glamorous-sounding service industry job.

I wonder if the LW has every really worked in a menial, service-oriented job. I understand that he or she has talked to flight attendants, etc. However, hearing about something and understanding it are two different things. A few years of working in fast food during high school were enough to convince me of the value of a college education.

I'll start this letter off with a disclaimer. The alleged actions of the Duke Lacrosse team are disgusting and those responsible should go to jail. More generally, the culture of privilege for athletes is pervasive at colleges and universities nationwide and university administrations are doing absolutely nothing to fix the problem. In that sense, I think the article is largely correct and well written.

However, I would like to respond to the comments in the article regarding problems those who live near campus have with drunk and/or rowdy students. I am an academic and I have lived in a series of college towns as a student and faculty member. Every one of these towns has a neighborhood near campus with rental properties intended for students. Students rent these properties in large groups to save on rent. Often they move "off-campus" to avoid the restrictive rules on alcohol and “visitors” on campus. However, sometimes it’s a matter of economics, on campus housing is usually a lot more expensive. In every college town I've lived in there are always noise and nuisance complaints from nearby local residents about the student rentals.

Why would anyone buy a property in close proximity to the student neighborhoods? 18-22 year-olds (not just college students) like to party and have a good time and a few complaints are not going to stop them. The residents who choose to buy these houses are just asking for conflict and unhappiness. The answer to this question is that the property values and quality of life near campus in college towns is higher than that of neighborhoods farther from campus. University employees want to live near campus. A five-minute walk to work is a really nice life. Nice restaurants and the good schools that professors demand are located near campus. However, these folks just do not want to take the bad with the good. Do you think I am wrong? What do you think Durham would look like without Duke? What would the property values of houses in that town fall to if Duke and nearby UNC Chapel Hill disappeared over night? The Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill area would be a hick-filled backwater without the universities and the research triangle development that has built up around them. How many jobs do these universities provide?

Of course, the situation with the "Lacrosse House" and the raped student are way beyond what should be tolerated by anyone. Those throwing parties have legal responsibilities towards partygoers and nearby property owners. However, it’s also important to consider the students' point of view in your discussion of "town vs. gown" issues. Supposedly privileged students are an easy target and the issue of race in North Carolina is a lot more complex than your article indicates.

Make no mistake, this guy wants an affair with the LW. If he didn't, he'd just tell his wife. If the LW thinks adultery is bad, then she shouldn't contunue her relationship with this guy. Does she want to be friends with a guy that is willing to cheat on his wife?

SLB,

Its ridiculous to compare living in the upper-class neighborhoods around Duke to the siutation in some public housing projects in inner-city areas.

Read the last paragraph of my letter.

For example:

Personal freedom

Our national reputation abroad

Funding for science research and education

Our own pride in our country

The environment

Racial and religious tolerance

We need to avoid the temptation to sit back and wait out this unpleasantness. We need to fight to make gains in congress during the 2006 elections. If left unchallenged and unchecked, the right will destroy everything that is good about this country.

There seems to be a subset of men who behave this way. They move in quickly, but refuse to commit. Typically, these guys move from one woman's house directly to another. They bring their enormous baggage of past partners and children, which always seem to be an excuse for their current lousy behavior, with them. For these men, the failure of the past relationship is always blamed on the other person.

My opinion is that women who tolerate this behavior are just rewarding it. Instead, they should hold these men at arm's length and just "date" until they are willing to make some sort of promise of a future, until the they are satisfied that they 1.) respect her, and 2.) are not just in it for the sex, free rent, and babysitting.

The idea of living with a lover without any long-term commitment sounds very Bohemian and sophisticated. In reality, I think it is just heartbreaking in the end. Maybe traditional marriage is not for everyone, but some sort of assurance of love and a long-term commitment is not unreasonable.