Good work on seeing the subconscious childish deals we make with ourselves that as we all know, work for us as children and must be unearthed and discarded as adults, no easy feat.

I'd like to add to small stories for you to see how what you insighted can be the reverse and also bad:

1) My ex husband was in the last few weeks diagnosed with incurable gastric cancer, stage 4. He is someone, rare, who goes to a doctor the second something seems awry, no hypochondriac but a man who has the opposite relation, cs and uncs re: doctors. So, being symptomatic last winter his belly hurt, he went to the local hospital, found bleeding ulcers, hiatus hernia and then: we waited for many days until GOOD NEWS: no cancer in the stomach. A false negative.

When the pains got worse and the meds stopped working, he went again right away and got a death sentence. I felt that so unfair just because unlike many of us: he was willing to check things out early.

I'm much like you if for totally different reasons. I spent 2 1/2 years with my mom, stage 4 Ovarian CA and one month after her death, my dad had kidney failure. Both were young. Both had healthy parents. Both went for yearly full check ups etc. Both fought to live and so lived longer than anyone imagined.

This left me with a determination to never see a doctor unless the pain was unbearable. I am like you were for different reasons: I was up close and too personal with doctors whose help was also so painful. Unlike my parents I had/have ? no interest in finding out what is wrong, preferring to die of death, not of a scary diagnosis. But like you, my ex's horrid ordeal, (which may be okay due to so many prayers) I realized that I too have symptoms and I have begun checking them out via MRI's etc. My point, which is probably boring to you is that you are SO not alone and moreover that you found a disease with a terrifying name that is absolutely curable is a miracle, and one I bless you for each day. You did face the music and in time. Prayers from so many will help you heal faster than most, A FN

Polanski did not traffic in sex slaves, a crime so horrendous and yet virutally universal. Why all this rage at one man who did as far as we know ONE thing wrong. Thirty plus years ago. We know the LA prosecutors are the ones who love to drag in celebrities, (envy much?)

But what I do not get is how people of the left or progressives, who know this world is going to hell in a million ways can work up so much lather against a grandfather who never again raped or sodomized anyone? He didn't kill the girl for Lord's sake. It was another time/almost another planet when this happened and you can be sure in Hollywood the same thing happens far too often.

Leave the guy alone and focus on the real problems of this world. I suspect there is a lot of envy of Polanski for so many to be so upset. What does it mean TO YOU if he does jail time? Nothing much, just salacious glee. What does it mean for him? At 76? Think about it. Save the rage for the millions of girls sold into slavery. Save the rage for health care. Save the rage.

My 3 year old daughter went to a very progressive pre-school, actually a play school Quaker and quite unstructured. This was 20 years ago and all the parents were hoping for gender neutrality. Good luck with that, we all joked. The boys without any direction were rocket mad, making such huge ones, and the girls, with zero coaching made dolls and pretended to be little kitty cats.

I have little to add except it was an eye-opener.Of course gender roles are also socially induced but not with these babes and young dudes.