Letters to the Editor
pewella
Published Letters: 81 Editor's Choice: 15
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Talk Dirty
[Read the article: Talk dirty to me, please?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I am officially in love with Cary, that dirty fucking fucker. I cannot WAIT to see how this thread will unfurl. Probably long and throbbing like Cary's big cock!
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Substitute "smoking" for "drinking" and I could have written this letter
[Read the article: Can I stop my dad from drinking? Should I try?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My father had a heart attack last autumn at the age of 59 that left him with moderate damage to 20% of his heart. He got off with a simple stent and got to leave the hospital alive. Initially he took up rehabilitation with a venegeance - going to cardiac rehab, walking every day, watching his fat intake, and after smoking since the age of 14, quit smoking. Now he's sneaking them here and there, but he says he's "not smoking", which I think is like being "a little bit pregnant".
It is simply impossible to talk to him about it. He's an introvert but likes to have control over his own life. I think he truly believes that no one should be controlled, which was a wonderful trait to have in a father. He's tired of people talking to him about the heart attack, or lecturing him, and having just emerged from two pregnancies where everyone has an opinion on what you should or shouldn't eat or drink, I thoroughly understand his aversion to advice....but when you see someone you love acting like a bloody suicidal nicompoop, what do you do when you've said as much as you can?
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Define "giving up"?
[Read the article: Why won't my friends just shut up and let me die?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]What a wonderful spirited angry letter!
It's human nature to treat big scary possibilities with the simplest of platitudes, such as saying to a close friend slowly dying from a disease that is, to an unknowing friend, seeming curable, "keep on fighting" or "don't give up". Why do we say such things? It's basically well-intentioned stupidity that stems from a lack of knowledge of what it means to truly suffer and our human fear of death.
At first glance it would appear that the LW is suffering from a depression and has given up. But I see the LW's perspective as very life-affirming. He or she wants to use the time left to live, not to fight this giant.
Chronic illness saps the spirit because oftentimes it's a battle that can't be won. I admire the LW for her honest HEALTHY reaction, to accept that instead of trying to be the superhero survivor who battled death and won, that oftentimes the nobler course is to accept one's fate and then turn one's gaze to the beauty of the time that's left. If every single day is devoted to monitoring glucose levels and thinking about your health, where is the time for great conversations over brunch? For watching HBO? For relationships? For reading and enjoying books?
All that said, my fingers and toes are crossed that the surgery corrects her wonky liver and that good health returns to her. But in the meantime, keep having brunch with your understanding friend, enjoy the days. Live as if you are going to die.
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It's true! Doctor's Are Not Gods! And sometimes they can be quite the ass!
[Read the article: Why won't my friends just shut up and let me die?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My fingers and thumbs are restless and I find myself compelled to post yet again, but this time to our favorite enemy, the anonymous doctor.
It's always quite jarring when someone who occupies an exhalted position displays a mind-boggling lack of insight or depth. Doctor, I am sure you are a good, perhaps even great, clinician, but your people-skills stink. You have to learn how to talk to people, and patients in particular, to get them to listen to your medical advice. When you preface a piece of medical information with the subject heading "This is going to be mean", you've immediately lost your audience.
I know, I know. Let me guess, you are one of those people who just "say it like it is". Well, so am I, and I have found time and time again that when you offer advice in a way that resembles a punch in the jaw, funny enough, people shut you out.
That said, I think a lot of what you wrote was medically correct, but as a cinician you need to get inside the psychology of a diabetic. Yes, it's true that many diabetics are non-compliant with what is required. They eat cake. They forget to check their sugars numerous times a day. They have reactions, they use too much insulin. My grandmother had diabetes, and it killed her, and I always remember her saying "I hate this disease, it just eats away at you bit by bit". Can you imagine what it's like not to be able to have dessert? Ever? Or wine? Or to have to eat a bloody egg for breakfast every morning? Or to see fruit as the enemy?
And so many diabetics do absolutely everything by the book, and still end up with stumps where their feet were, or blind, or having undetected heart attacks. Seriously, would you be motivated to live a life of denial if there was a great chance that the outcome could be a devastating as if you had eaten chocolates and red wine every evening?
So then your dilemma is this - how do you convince your non-compliant patients to live a life of deprivation? And make no mistake, it is a life of deprivation, would you like to be in your 20s and not be able to go clubbing or hiking? How do you inspire a patient to do what is required without chastising them or talking down? I have many medical friends and family members, and after a year or two as GPs or specialists, they inevitable adopt a tone that turns a tad arrogant or sneering towards their patients, mostly because many patients do stupid things that make their medical situation worse. Sure, it's understandable. But as a doctor, you need to rise above that sort of jaded perspective and drop the supercilious manner. It's coldly uncompassionate and disturbingly unprofessional.