Cary's letter was great, but I think he missed a big point. People don't HATE you because you're mentally ill, they're AFRAID of what they don't understand. I have a lot of experience with mental illness, as I grew up with a mentally ill mother and later married a man who was bi-polar.

That face of hatred you think you see looking at you in crowds is actually the face of fear. And I think its an important and powerful realization to understand that YOU have the power in this situation, not those people on the street. If you put yourself in their shoes, and are gentle and patient, you can eventually change the minds of not all, but maybe some of those who are afraid of you.

Of the people you have hurt, possibly some of them do hate you, but like Cary said, you can't control what others feel. Most likely, they don't hate you, they're just afraid. Generally, it takes a long time for fear to solidify into hatred.

Be well, and take care. And remember, there are those out there who understand what you're going through. You're not alone.

My sister and I are only 13 months apart. We were raised like twins, dressed alike and all that jazz, so we've always been very close.

When she got pregant at 19, I knew that I was going to be babysitting quite a lot, and I'm so glad I put in that time. But I didn't have to miss out on anything in life to do it. I graduated from college and today have a lucrative career. My sister, now mother of three, has just recently graduated from nursing school.

I was married for 10 years, then divorced. We never felt a real need to have kids, and I have no regrets. I always had my nephews and niece. When I felt that urge for a kid, I went over and borrowed them for a while, let my sister and her husband have a date night. Then the urge passed, and I went back home to my clean house and my cat and enjoyed the contrast of peace to joyful noise.

I didn't have to give up every weekend to be close to my sister's kids. I lived my life and visited a few times a month and called a lot. I came to all the birthdays and holidays. When I go to my sister's house and walk in (I have a key), the kids all yell "May May!" the special moniker given to me by the first child (now 16) who couldn't pronouce my name, and I feel the satisfaction and glow of all the time I put in. I'm on the emergency call list at all the schools, but that isn't stopping me from going to Australia for a month next week.

Aunting (the verb) is great fun. But you don't have to give anything up to do it. Be a good example to those kids and live the fullest life you can, while teaching them what you learn, and loving them unconditionally. If more people made the effort to devote such time to their own families, we might have fewer social problems. It's not selfish at all, it's your little bit of saving the world.

Would your robot lover miss you when you died? I guess he'd need to have his memory rebooted and go to someone else. Used robot lovers, half off, anyone?

No Critic-

I would suggest that you get online and do some research into Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I'm no psychologist, but as the child of a parent with a personality disorder, I'm hearing some very familar symptoms. Walking on eggshells...that's a very common sensation to kids of parents with pds.

Just reading about this disorder will let you know that you're not alone. Even as adults, children of parents with pds suffer terribly. There is usually no cure, as most afflicted with these disorders will never seek help. What you need to do is focus on drawing your own boundaries, protecting yourself, and not being drawn into the usual cycle of fear, obligation, and guilt (or FOG, as us "kid's of" call it.)

There are many online support groups out there, so please, reach out for help. You're not alone. You can find more information at the website BPD Central.

My boyfriend had it right this weekend when he asked, "Who in the McCain campaign let him do an interview in a town called Waterloo?"

Shows how out of touch McCain and his people are. Its like they're not even paying attention.

I'll be so glad when this election is over.

I'm unhappy with Obama using his influence over Congress to keep Leiberman as well, but he seems to be taking Lincoln's concept of the team of rivals very much to heart. I've heard Obama described as obsessed with Lincoln, and I can't think of a better role model for a new president, especially in a country that needs healing as much as we do today.

As for Leiberman, I guess we can take comfort in knowing that he owes Obama big time.

Might as well sue Siouxsie Sioux and Neil Gaiman for the Sandman character Death while they're at it. Nothing new about Emo or Emily at all.