He looked like a crawdaddy that's been boiled in Tabasco water, like a sheep knee deep in fleece, or a crazed pig before slaughter.

He put on his best faux brave face, but everybody in this whole country, could see his naked disgrace.

He'll be there with his Linus blanket

And his thumb in his mouth

He's already cast everything else

Into puzzling deep doubt.

It only highlights the fact that McCain's unready

How monotonously dull....

He's just not ready for primetime or goin' live in a debate just yet...

Muslims on the moon.

The more enmeshed you get with your favorite fantasies, the more you seem to retreat, into your virtual realities.

And says he won't a computer

In any of Cindy's 9 homes.

But he failed to secure a mass appeal

To the people's own suspension of disbelief.

You'd be better advised to shed your virtual reality mentality, because Santa's Winter Wonderland, is in no way shape or form, a true construct of actual reality.

Is there some basic malfunction

With his ancient old ass?

McCain has ample time to talk on TV

To take questions from all of the major networks

But can't handle a live debate

Because it makes his confused head hurt?

A loser in Nam

A no win in Iraq

A wanna be loser to bomb bomb bomb Iran?

What's the TRUE experience of this "war hero" Ed McMahon?

Is he the little McChoo choo that said:

I think I can, I think I can?

Look "Independence"

You don't even know me

So don't insult me

And don't try to blow me.

Just look at that hole!

And you're the one who dug it!

You have freedom and independence

If you so wish

To cast your ballot into the toilet

It's every American's sacred right

And I sure hope you enjoy it.

The truth is, in the end the only one virt is gonna hurt is virt, and I feel some small sympathy for the poor self delluded squirt.

Your thinkin' is stinkin'...I too live in the south, and where I live there's a new saying: Obama is the cat and McCain is Mickey Mouse.

For your eyes only

I got an eye on you

My name is Sarah

And my Moose aim is true...

Who sees repubulicans more charged up about Palin than McCain?

And is that not backasswards if not a little bit insane?

T minus 15 hours 9 seconds and counting.....

McCain has the senility

And Palin has the fungibility

An original American recipe

For continued disaster

And vicious volatility...

That'll be a debate

That'll be a riveting thrilla

Palin'll probably be messin' about

And delightedly chasin' her tail in the mud

Biden'll pick up his paint brush

And paint the ceiling of the debate hall

In the hapless lip stick pitbull's

Own hyperactive hellhound blood.

you really think

your tender dumb ass is real fuckin' cute

Commander Klytus

Needs to stuff you in a Boy Scouts of America uniform

And drop you from a plane into Sadr City in Iraq

With a brand new Boy Scout parachute.

"uh yeah...I guess...I-I-I'll be there...for the d-debate...providin' y-you y-y-youngsters...don't k-k-keep me up too late."

"Uh y-y-yeah...I guess it's on for the debate, but don't y-y-you youngsters keep me up too late."

I steamin' media plate of pure McCainian manure.

you watch too much TV.

I'd be careful how you wanna eyes us

Acting all mightily indignant and prissily pious

Cos check it out THawk7

Not all good little chicken Hawks

All ascend up to heaven...

Turn off the tube if it so offends your eyes

Cos if it DOES so offend you

Turn it OFF

And seek quick emotional rescue.

file yourself under redundants.

Check the news at eleven

Don't give me that "thinking cap" crap

It's hard to regard you seriously

When you're wearing a dunce cap.

Virt

If the skit caused you hurt

I'm sorry

You melencholy squirt

But see

NBC

Is not the place of my work

If you want SNLs comedy to improve

If you want it to be better

Write the producer

Lorne Michaels

A most earnest and sincere letter.

You squawk the squawk..but can you talk the talk?

Not a little squirt like Ahmad I-need-a-job, who after Iran's upcoming elctions in all likelyhood WILL be looking for a new job. The Ayatollahs are unhappy with Ahamad, and the Ayatollahs are the real policy makers in Iran. Most of all though the Iranian people are starting to lose patience with a hard ass like Ahmad, and in all probability are looking back upon the recent old days of Mohammed Khatami as salad days by comparison.

What's the big deal about saying "John," addessing McCain in familiar style 'n fashion?

What are you? An etiquette coach? Miss. Manners?

Wow. that was waaaaaaaay out of line.

Better brush up on that continental etiquette Barack.

Oh. And don't forget, the small fork is the salad fork.

Palahniuk is to the 90's.

A nervous laugh

With a reptilian smirk...

Tragically

Carries on the signature legacy

Of the downslide ride

Of the Fall of the House

Of Bush

In every conceivable way

All that is to say

In most every wretchedly failed way

But job title

And soon to be reviled for future ages

Family name

An approach to foreign affairs

Whose most obvious

And outstanding

Features

Are marked most markedly

By the prominence and dominance

Of the ever present

Feature

Of the fevered and fool hardy

Reptile brain....

McMarksman in the dark

Firin' off blanks

And hollow tipped snark

The tube is the sacred box

Where the god's truth

Is always told...

Both had a sturdy spirit of stand up individualism

And an unwillingness to succumb to bouts of raw fear

Both will continue in new ways

Both dear and forever near.

NEVERMORE!