That sounds like some Godzilla shit..

Giada versus Megalon or somethin'...

He who is young

Dumb

And too full of cum

To him is great misfortune

To fall face first in cow dung

And to them he is entitled and deserving

But you with all that MSG!

No doubt it shall avail you

A long life's artificial preserving.

Your sorrow I hear

I lost my mom

Just this past June

Of this year...

In 60 to 70

You'll be so old and ugly

You'll look like the thing

I don't lay this fix down to

Some Star Wars shit

Some "Curse of the Sith"

So if this is the bed you've all made for yourselves

Best you go and lie down in it..

Just as long as there's

A trail in the air

Of potent bong smoke..

Prepare yourselves

For the eventual comin'

Of the great dyin'

I've already lived my way

Through Hurricane Katrina

New Orleans

Mad Max

Beyond Super Dome

So when the shit hits the fan

I figure I'll already

Feel pretty much at home...

But all a hippie needs

Is some good weed and a bong

And from there on in

It can do no wrong..

Snitty-Britty

Glibbly

Monty Python

Shittin' real pretty

Type thang...

Just because I felt the itch.

They're gettin' their heads all geared

For sudden death next year...

That ya thought you was

In all the world

The one and only?

They're all dead...

Between you and me

I ain't got my head

Way high up in the sky

With a high falootin' hankerin'

For this or that

Type 'o pie..

All down to earth

For what all it's worth

I don't really give a fuck

I'd rather just amble on down to Mickey D's

Get a Mickey D's apple pie

Then hit the corner liquor store

And get me a big bottle 'ol bottle of their cheapest Cold Duck

Seems only an apple pie

Heat lamp warmed up at Mickey D's

Is the only kind 'o plebian pie

Fit for the likes 'o you and me

Ya'll just laid

Some heavy eastern on me

But it don't explain how...

You called that Celery shit out

Map's a man

Of that I've no doubt..

What the eff is that?

Less softcore instructin'

And more hardcore

Food fuckin'?

Forget cookin' fancy meals!

All you need is Mickey D's

And a fly car with four wheels

plebian?

We was all doin' us some drive by cookin'...

Cookin' right straight outta Compton

Quick!

Put ya foot to the peddle

Fast!

All you know how to fix

Is Adolf Hitler

On a weeny stick

You're a one dish wonder

Just a all around

One trick pony

Swingin' dick

My recommends forthwith

Is to get used to it

And get a good whiff

As you stand knee deep

In six tons of deep Sith...

Those words are over harsh

And a far cry from mild..

My Egyptian prescription

Would be for you

Good Celery

To get back on

Prolixin

Or some kinda

Jackass

'O all trades

Instant

Quick tricks

Fixer..

But I figure

If you aim true to yourself

The truth is probably hangin' there

Up on

Some dusty book shelf...

The "truth"

Good Celery

Is always found in the best

Bottle 'o vermouth..

Tengerine!

Don't be so mean..

Go run into the kitchen

And stop all ya silly bitchin'!

You sound like a real royal bitch

On a bitchin'

Bitch on broom's

Urgent mission...

As the Celery grows more assertive...

You can War in the Stars

To your little heart's desire

But don't firt with me

Or ever call me a liar..

..or I'll sick my Sith on ya!

You ain't done no real livin'

Till you come down chere ta Loosiana

For a pipin' hot pot 'o squirrel head gumbo

Served up thick 'n tasty

Each 'n every

Thanksgivin'...

I just wanna say

On this eve of Festivus

That to me

My friend

You exemplify

What is good

In the best of us

And the state of the nation?

Somebody I fear likes Star Wars

A little bit more

Than is good

For their mental and emotional maturation.

You really spoil me.

But somethin' here's the matter

Cos I always heard a real Scottish haggis

Requires a real warm 'n reakin'

Sheep's bladder.

I'm fed up

With "feel good"

Junk food...

"Stuff it" indeed.

Tis the season

Of the pie stuffin' Vegan.

Yan Can Cook?

That dude and his wok

Will always be #1 in my book.

It is matter of no small vexation

Why Ubercrombie

Has such a powerfully strong

Hitler fixation.

But was it

Vegan red wine?

Blessed by a Vegan?

And kickin' some real serious culinary ass!

Flame broiled vegan pizza pie...all you cannibals out there will wanna give this one a try.

Being a person of color I can tell you straight out that this "magical negro" thing is one of the stupidest Nutra-Sweet confections Hollywood has ever pulled out of its ass.

I think it all began with Gary Coleman as the little lovable black leprechaun, then went up, though not by much, to Webster, and then of course things grow a little taller with Will Smith, a full grown teenage Prince of Nowhere that raps more like a candy wrapper than a bringin' it real rapper.

I would prefer more anger in my magical negroes. Negroes perhaps with magical super powers that allow them to lay waste to crack houses and gang bangers, and other doin' their no good in the hood thangers

I have always believed that Will Smith is a big fat pussy, a product of Soda Jerk Inc. And I am correct.

Some say he played a good Ali, but this magical nigga, does not agree.

Sounds more like your kind

Of bovine pastoral pastime...

Eat what you are

And in the end

you'll be much

Better off

By far...

You can blow that vegan business out your ass.

Got some crawfish pie

Right down here on the bayou...!