There are problems and then there are extreme, impossible problems seemingly without solution. It is an extreme problem you face.

I am keeping faith that your son(s) (reference to 'NINA****', a reader in similar situation) will be able to receive help.

I wonder if the reader who wrote in about managing high testosterone levels has a point.

Your story has remained in my thoughts since reading it.

Thank you.

My prayers will include your sons and your families.

Better to disengage now.

No age is too old to reflect, reassess, and grow. We are always growing. You were brave enough to speak your innermost thoughts aloud to Cary. May you find some comfort, joy, peace and contentment in little every-day things, the kindness of strangers, the innocence of children, a blade of grass.

I share this poem by my lovely neighbor of long-ago.

URBAN MEADOW

Unkempt

Uncut

Unrestrained

Unregulated by traffic the meadow pours forth

Immerse your hands into fragrant breeze

Touch the blades

Let the leaves, let the flowers

flow through your heart

Laughing child runs through eternal fields.

You were once this child.

You were this magic.

Run.

Run again.

( Poem by Hanna Skapski - Feb 1997 )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmZMRDjGMzg

A bon bon for the soul - "Nightingale Serenade" composed by Enrico Toselli.5 min 24 seconds. Doesn't have to be watched. Background music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dPDO3Tfab0

Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings accompanies the poem DESIDERATA by Max Ehrmann. The Adagio for Strings was played in the movie PLATOON, played on Sep 15, 2001 in memory of the victims of Sep 11, 2001, played at the funerals of FDR and Prince Ranier of Monaco.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJJmF5qqQyE

Piano solo by Matthew Cameron. Composer - Khachaturian

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObxzdawhM-8&feature=related

Sarah Chang - violin, Placido Domingo conducting the Berlin Philharmonic. Composer - Jules Massenet

How do AIG recipients of this 'bonus' figure they are entitled to a reward when their performance has led to financial collapse requiring bailout? Where is the shame?

Isn't there a tacit obligation that performance must EXCEED expectations in order to receive a bonus?

A bonus is not entitlement. What kind of contract awards a bonus where there is financial loss? Who wrote this contract and who agreed to it?

This is not God's intention and desire. She was misled by misled people.

My maternal family had 3 suicides.

An internet penpal (female) has a family in which there were 7 (SEVEN) suicides.

My mother desired my suicide.

I don't think suicide is a legacy I would wish to leave for my children.

I agree with the reader , the bankruptcy professional, (red star post) who said that you don't know how life can change if you check out by means of suicide.

My best years were after 59. I am 61. I fully expect that my best years are AHEAD.

I also think the suggestion of getting a dog is a good one.

Do you sing? Would you join a choir? People who sing cannot think about suicide. There are jazz choirs, gospel choirs etc. Not all choirs are church choirs if church is not your thing.

People who work in a fast food restaurant have no time to feel suicidal. There is NO TIME.

There are sour people in this world. You are not the cause of their bitterness. You are the excuse to express their disatisfaction with life. Yes, they need to take a walk in the rain.

Anyone reading your articles (including the one on September 11 - your birthday ) would know the big heart of C.T.

Rep Carolyn Maloney has been a staunch champion of population education and supporting UNFPA, the United Nations Population Fund which aids women all over the world in CHOOSING their family size.

On the 2nd day President G. Bush came into power, he ordered a "gag rule' that no agency could perform work and at the same time teach anything about contraceptives.

President Bush also froze $34 Million which Congress had already approved to go to UNFPA. Why? Because he had heard (wrongly) that UNFPA performed abortions in China. Despite several multi national delegations to China, including a team from the State Department of Colin Powell, NONE COULD FIND ANY TRUTH TO THE ALLEGATION THAT UNFPA PERFORMED ABORTIONS IN CHINA.

Despite this finding, and despite Secretary Powell's endorsement of the $34 million release, President Bush did not release the $34million - and I don't know if he has up to this day.

Carolyn Maloney has been behind the betterment of the world's women, becuase unless a woman can select the size of her family, the number of children she births, women cannot advance.

I think Carolyn Maloney in the NY Senate seat would be a good choice, Gov Paterson.