Okay, sorry. I've had a glass (or two) of wine. But I was accosted by a "respresentative" from my local paper at the Kroger Sunday and after trying to get me to sign up for a vastly discounted service, and after I gave him my rigamaroll about the environment and "why pay for something I can get for free online"? He said, simply, "It's charity, in a way. By subscribing, you'll give the paper a chance at being around in five years." True. But I think the paper is missing a lot in its online business model. It's plagued by national online ads, which probably charge rates based on hits in the same way that a national website might. It should be courting local ads, and local coupons. Localization is the way to go, I think. I hope that, given some time, local businesses and the paper can come to a payment arrangement not unlike what they got going for them now.

On a different, but related, note. I think that's also part of the problem, this measuring ratings by "hits". It encourages something that happens here on Salon sometimes, and on other news sites: a divisive comments/letters forum or board that serves the purpose of encouraging postings of a polemic nature to ensure repeat views and responses. It has the effect of reflecting more on the newspaper itself, rather than on the commenters. So that the newspaper becomes effectively hijacked by ideologues or trolls. It makes the messenger look ugly. I know that's definitely the case with my hometown newspaper. If I didn't know any better, and I was looking to move to my hometown, I might take one look at the comments board and high-tail it in the other direction.

I see some of my own friends in this. There is an element of obsessive-compulsiveness--a need to control something that is firmly out of his control. Perhaps he is obsessed with environmentalism because he fears what might happen if he is not. So he seeks to control what he can to a self-damaging degree. I think getting at the root of his anxiety, and his need to use environmentalism as a conduit for channeling control, might aid him.

I don't know why some of these other letter writers are so critical, but I thought this was a heart-felt, well-written article.

Admittedly, I've never been there. I found this interview fascinating. Gwatney is a human and has human flaws. My parents went through hell with my brother but made it to the other side (he's fantastic now). I was once a high school teacher, and I had countless troubled teenagers. There was never a clear pattern, never an identifiable flaw to label a parent with. Every human being is different. Sometimes you have to live through it; sometimes you get lucky; sometimes you go through literal hell. Everyone in this story deserves our compassion. This makes a solid argument for better accesibility to family counselors, who can target goals for both the children and parents and develop steps to bring them together. So glad this had a happy ending!

1) your niece/nephew. I had a very close friend whose uncle committed suicide, and it has haunted him his whole life.

2) reasons for being human. It is my belief that we are here now (and we don't know what comes after) to experience life as a human being. To have feelings. To have senses. So throw yourself into it and don't take it for granted! Even pain is something more than nothing. Even sorrow. Even that inexcorible emptiness that stings like a dagger in the heart. The next step, we feel nothing, so enjoy the pain and the euphoria. All of it. For as long as you are allotted it.

Live it--all of it, even the ugly bits--for your mother, who wouldn't even take the years you have left if you offered them to her.

I am so there with the LW. I got married young, right out of college, and we're coming up on our six-year anniversary. I never had second thoughts about my husband, but I did have second thoughts about his family. Love his mom, but his dad has some mental problem that is ignored by all involved. I can count the number of sentences he's said to me on my fingers and toes, and the number of times he's made eye contact on my left hand. I used to think it was me, but he has no adult friends, and well, long story short (too late), it's not me.

They are a lot older than my parents, and I kind of just regard them as grandparents, rather than in-laws. Since I live in the same town, we have to split holidays. In half. As in, Christmas morning at his parents, Christmas afternoon at mine. As in, two Thanksgiving meals. This is because both families are controlling and want to be the primary family where we spend our time. It doesn't matter how we divide the rest of the year up (most of that's with my family, where we can also drink openly--his family are all teetotalers), holidays are calculated to the minute.

My advice: you love your fiance, then it's worth it to grin and bear it and make the sacrifice for him. My solution is to bring a good book along. When his dad stares off into space and his mom starts clipping coupons, I crack that puppy open and catch up on some good readin'.

I may be exaggerating a little bit. His dad's gotten better since he had a health scare a couple of years ago. You realize, then, you're there for your husband and he's there for you. He can't choose his family. And you have to give them a chance, just like they have to give you one, too. There's always something new to learn.