Letters to the Editor
tortoise
Published Letters: 43 Editor's Choice: 4
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Sound Advice - Over Here!
[Read the article: My wife is lying to me about her affair]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Another letter writer wrote:
"Repeatedly breaking into spouse's email is also a breach of trust and a violation of the relationship."
How outrageous. No spouse should have an expectation of unconditional trust, especially one who is cheating. LW's wife is treating him disgracefully and has no right to her secrecy. LW was right to read her email, and wronged nobody in doing so. He should neither apologize nor feel shame.
LW wrote:
"She says that although she's not moving out to be with the lover, and I think this is probably true, she's wondering if there's something more for her out there ... independence, the single life, what have you."
LW, people who aren't having affairs almost never precipitously abandon their partners in search of "independence" or "something more out there" or--the grandaddy of them all--needing "space". Those excuses are straight out of the "so you're having an affair" textbook. Take it from someone who's seen it all: she is moving out to be with her affair partner. I guarantee it.
LW, the affair will end. It hasn't but it will. Afterward she may come back, even if you've divorced her. When that happens you'll have to decide what to do.
For now I recommend that you PUSH her out the door, call a lawyer, and decide whether or not you want to try saving this marriage with no help from her.
-tortoise
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Do Not Go
[Read the article: My boyfriend wants me to move, my daughter wants me to stay]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]LW, if the boyfriend were run over by a bus tomorrow would you move? No. And do you have any kind of serious committment from him? No. Pfffff, this is easy.
You never even mentioned the possibility of the dude moving to be close to you. That's revealing. What is it, his career would die? He's too much of a cool urban dude and would kill himself if he had to live outside the city? He loves his job too much? He's under house arrest?
The reasons don't matter. His unwillingness to relocate gives him all the status in the relationship. That may even be one of the things that makes him attractive to you. Which reminds me - your standards may need adjusting if you think snagging a man with a steady income is reason to shout "yippee!" instead of "check".
Sounds like the lives of both you and your daughter are on a trajectory towards stability and a good helping of happiness. To disrupt that process over a man who can't or won't fight for the relationship would be a huge mistake. LW, I'm sorry, the dude's not necessarily a horrible dude, but he's definitely not worth it.
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Paglia's Climate: Unchanged Since 1992
[Read the article: Real inconvenient truths]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Camille is a successful academic. I'm sure she has plenty of connections. I bet she understands how science works. I bet it would take almost nothing for her to be reach out to a credible and trustworthy advisor who could give her an honest and informed perspective on the scientific discussion of climate change.
But that would distract from analyzing Al Gore's troubling personality and from caricaturing liberals. It would be so annoyingly non-trivial.
God, what a lightweight!
These letter writers, these articulate showoffs with their pandering letters and Paglia-sound-alike prose, wouldn't bother me so much if their target, who I used to find interesting, weren't such a sucker for their mimicry.
Nowadays I find very little merit in Camille's opinions. I just see discredited narratives, weak analogies to the same old pet interests, and anachronistic political analysis. Bogus ideas, their expression well executed.
Pat her on the back though. She bugged me enough that I wrote in.
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Abrams
[Read the article: Neocons' rejection of the rule of law extends to the personal level]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Glenn, are you sure Elliot Abrams is a convicted felon?
His Wikipedia entry states that he made a deal and was never even indicted on any felony counts.
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The Wife Has To Know
[Read the article: My sister is having an illicit affair]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The LW has an obligation: to inform the wife that her husband is being fucked by a woman with herpes. It makes no difference that the woman with herpes is LW's sister.
By knowing what's happening and not telling the wife, LW is complicit in that woman's suffering. Silence is cowardly and negligent.
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Amoral Nonsense
[Read the article: My sister is having an illicit affair]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I wrote a letter a while ago then read all the rest more carefully. I'm astonished.
Mind your own business.
Threaten to tell your other family members.
Threaten to tell the wife.
Refuse to talk about it.
Don't be judgmental.
The wife probably already knows.
This is not a complicated situation. A woman is being abused and placed at risk. Because "we don't know the situation" we're somehow excused from protecting victims? Deranged.
A few days ago a news story got national attention. Outside Detroit an old man, a WWII vet, had the shit kicked out of him by a carjacker. Security camera footage showed onlookers who stood a few feet away and did nothing. If they saw, they were afraid to confront the attacker. I guess they didn't know the situation and maybe the old man had it coming. Or possibly they were right not to be judgemental toward the dude pounding the face of the 91-year-old vet, right?
LW, if you don't take action, you're those onlookers.
Nope, the wife isn't old. She isn't a veteran. She doesn't look victimy enough, possibly, to some of the people writing here. Regardless, she has people doing intentional harm to her.
It's a no-brainer.