Rebecca Traister asks, "Is your take that people in unhappy marriages should stay in those marriages?"

Kate O'Beirne's answer was absolutely on the mark.

People who report being unhappy in their marriages are typically not happier after getting divorced. Women included. Look it up.

Greg

Watching Oldboy was the most rewarding movie experience I've had in years. It's a real masterpiece. But apparently, it didn't leave much of a "cultural ripple". Is that even important?

And hasn't the author heard of Bryce Dallas Howard before? Reading her name, followed by a sentence beginning with "she and her sinister dad" threw me for a second, since her real-life father hardly seemed sinister to me long ago, on Tuesday nights, when I could always count on him to keep The Fonz out of trouble.

Mr. Tortoise

I love the way our writers pretend to praise Al Gore while simultaneously smearing him with the same old tired jive.

Gore presents a "wonky but highly effective" presentation which is of course, not just a presentation but is a "lecture-demonstration". There he goes again, boring Al Gore, giving a boring lecture.

Not much later we get "Guggenheim seems to see the 2000 election as the third, and perhaps most decisive, of Gore's life-changing personal trials." In a new twist (most of our media just pretend to read Gore's mind) O'Heir reads the director's mind reading Gore's mind. Amazing!

Next we get an entire paragraph full of golden oldies. Gore "preaches", and we're reminded that "yes, his lectures are sometimes dense and wonky affairs". What does O'Heir mean with the "yes" part? Who is this imaginary dull, lazy person O'Heir agrees with by throwing in the "yes"?

Of course Gore's unsexiness gets a point: "Hey, babe, wanna catch the flick about Al Gore's slide show?"

And right in line with the "Al Gore is crazy" smear, we're told that Gore is "strange"--and not only that, he's also "portly". His Tennessee accent is "slightly put-on" (Once again, Gore's inner thoughts are divined and he is declared a phony), and we're reminded that "he was mostly raised in a Washington hotel suite". Ah yes, the privileged childhood spent in a swank hotel suite. Andrew, you might want to look into that a little further.

And there's still more of this tired shit. Next we get the news that Gore is "uncomfortable in his own skin", in case we didn't get it when the Beltway media falsely smeared Gore with it in 2000.

And still we're not done! Apparently, Gore didn't know who he was until recently, because we're informed that it looks like he has finally "become his own man."

No, it's not necessary to praise the man exclusively. Of course not. But I don't believe the author is sharing original thoughts. He's just repeating the same old shameful, false smears we've heard for years.

Andrew, of course Al Gore isn't getting back into politics! He's smart. He knows that he'll just get smeared again. Your article is the perfect example. You can't even praise him without repeating all the doozies: Gore's a phony, Gore doesn't know who he is, Gore's strange, Gore's not sexy, preachy Gore is always boring us with wonky boring lectures.

Andrew, I usually like your writing, but this stuff is lazy.

GF

Sorry for spelling your name wrong (twice), Andrew.

GF

Hey you, person who wrote that response... the one that said, "The real problem is he doesn't love his wife anymore":

I hope you aren't married. If you're not, please stay single. If you are... why in the world did you get married?

After you've been married a while, your feelings for your partner change. This fact is universal. Now and then you may become infatuated with another person. If you've been married long enough, like more than a couple of years, the new feeling is different than your feelings for your partner.

Duh! I can't believe people don't know this stuff. It's ancient information.

So you get this wild obsession about some other person. And regardless, you remain faithful. Not because you're "trapped", but because you CHOOSE to love your partner, even when you've got a crush on someone else. Even when your fantasies and crushes feature horrible, secret wishes that you might somehow, by some act of god, become free. Even when things aren't perfect and currently you kind of maybe even dislike your partner. Yeah, even then you stay, because by getting married you choose to love your partner in spite of however the wind might blow your emotions around. Miraculously, if you put this effort in to your relationship and your partner does too, you won't be "trapped" and your marriage won't be "empty".

An adulterous crush isn't a symptom of something wrong with your marriage, or an indication of some special magical bond that must be pursued. It's just a symptom of being a human being.

She says she can't quit... but actually she can, and should. It's what she owes the family that she's royally screwed up. It's called "making amends". It's hard. It's an ethical act. The best ones are very hard. That's what makes them the best.

Trtl

Just 1 1/2 years after the divorce your daughter is still grieving. And you've dealt with it compassionately, sounds like, but you're also deceiving her. She'll be confused and injured when the truth comes out, which it always does.

You keep this secret because you underestimate people in your life. When you underestimate people your influence, though subtle, increases the likelihood that they will meet your low expectations.