Dear LW,

I was going write a couple of paragraphs about how abortion is a private matter between a woman and her doctor.... with PRIVATE being the key word: Just because you helped your ex-wife decide doesn't give you the right to invade her privacy. I was going to add that something as deeply personal and life-altering like whether abort a child, should remain between spouses, even if they are ex-spouses.

But HeatherEastman succinctly said what I really want to say:

1/ You just want to make ex look bad.

2/ You are an asshole.

To that I add:

3/ You are passive-aggressive.

4/ No wonder she's your EX-wife.

Family Secrets. Aren't they grand?

LW needs to stay quiet.

My mother has always been the type of person who likes to throw things up in your face. She has used "honesty" and her so-called "dislike of hypocrisy" as a platform to put across some pretty hateful things. I can't believe the things this woman has said to friends and family over the years. They were true... but still. Did she really need to tell my 300 lb sister-in-law she's fat? Me-thinks she already knew.

Years later Mom is old, alone, and lonely. She doesn't have a single friend. Not a one. My late father left a long time ago. Her kids barely tolerate her and do things for her strictly out of obligation.

Mom's family was full of secrets. One of the biggest was the identity of their real father (my grandfather). It's too convoluted for details, but let's just say it would make an awesome mini-series. My mother and her brothers knew the truth about Grandpa, but her brothers were ashamed and decided to keep it quiet. Alas, at a family reunion Mom started mouthing off about Grandpa as well as rattling other skeletons in the family closet.

Her brother and his wife were very angry and cut off all contact with her. For 30 years her favorite brother refused to speak to her. This was made worse by Mom's refusal to apologize for "just being honest".

They finally made up about 6 years ago. Then two years ago her brother died. She was devastated. But what a waste. They had 4 years, when they could have had 34 years.

So LW, it's not worth it. Keep it to yourself.

As for Mr. and Mrs. Shep, I don't understand why everyone is giving them a free pass. This over-reaction to a Chinese ancestor sounds a little racist to me. Maybe I'm overly-sensitive because I'm of mixed race. But I'm often amazed at how liberal and open so many people are until it touches home. If they're not racists, they're at the very least people who think it's okay to build their most important relationship on lies.

So LW, stay quiet. Mr. and Mrs Shep sound like a couple of knobs but keep it to yourself.

I feel so sorry for Delores. When she finds out --- and she will, trust me--- she is going to be so pissed off. Not because Shep isn't her biological father, but because she was lied to for 22 years.

BTW.... the kids always know. A few years ago my cousin -- my uncle's son -- told me he and all my cousins had heard the rumours over the years and asked me to tell them the truth about our Grandfather. I told him he'd have to ask his dad. I added if his dad didn't fess up I'd tell him, but not while my uncle was still alive. So I'm going to have to tell them the story soon. But like I say , the kids always know.

A couple of people, Ken E & SB I think, hit the nail on the head. If the LW detests this person so much, go to the boss and say "In the past, I had a professional relationship with Bob that would make working together very uncomfortable. Could I work in a different office or on a different team?"

That's all you need to say. You don't have to go into detail.

It's not that complicated.

If the boss says no, the LW SHOULD QUIT. I've had therapy from time to time, and I would be mortified to find myself sharing an office with a former therapist. It's not fair -- is it even ethical?? -- for a therapist, if that's what LW is, to make a former patient's professional life uncomfortable. The other guy should have dibs because he has a lot more invested in the company than this new employee.

Do not, unless he is threatening to hurt another person, breach confidentiality. It's the ultimate betrayal--to the patient and to your profession. Besides, if my therapist breached confidentiality, I would sue his ass right into the next century.

I, like a lot of readers question the veracity of this letter. I don't understand why the LW, or any professional, wouldn't have a clearer understanding of his/her profession's code of conduct? Seriously!

And on top of everything, everybody's talking about The Sopranos -- how it ended and how Tony's shrink realized how much she despises him. LW did everything but add "my name is Dr. Melfi".

I meant to say "Go to the boss OR find a new job. Sorry!