Just FYI...sometimes sexual urges can be put into another direction...we all may be bisexual. Why not try loving on this earth and include other choices in the mix. Thus, you open up whole new vistas of existence in this life with its precious moments. Also, the more your smile and exude sensuality, the more you attract love into your life.

Simply, the laws of attraction, men or women, young or old. It works.

When I was 22, I felt this type of love and energy. Cary is right, move on and know that you will be fine. Such beauty of the soul at an early age bodes well for you.

Move, go to school, get a federal loan, look at all of the beauriful men in your home town, choose one, be passionate. You will be fine. As Cary advised, cry when you need, meet with friends when you need, and love others when you need. You will eventually love even more again.

You are a wonderful individuall!

There is a lot of anger towards this human. We love to label in America. She is just a part of the human race which is a part of the animal kingdom. Mankind imposes morals and invented romantic love. However, her behavior may haunt her in the form of some illness or perhaps sterility. Leave her alone, call her what you want, but realize this could be anyone...perhaps, someday, yourself.

I moved away from my hometown of racists, religious nuts, and people who believe that the Left Behind series is not fiction, but fact. Although most of these childhood friends and family are part of the rural America that is immortalized in our images of rugged indivudalism and family values, the surface underneath is like a boiling pot of paternalism and scapegoating of anyone who is not Christian or white.

My mother is aging and becoming more frail. She never fully fit into the nuclear family of my father who believed that their relatives "swung by their necks" and not be thier tales. Thus, my choices would be to leave nothern California and its exquisite beauty and move to this area of the world in which its history is less than savory to me. I have a new family and friend network. I offered to move my mother to California. She may...but, I will not move there to help her because it would result in a life that I abandoned over 40 years ago.

I flew to see them after an bout with Ovarian cancer. The family sat around and talked of other ethnic groups using the usual slur words which may be banned in hip hop if Al Sharpton has his way. They made fun of my hair, my lifestyle, and tried to save my soul. I will not go back to experience this again. My mother can move here and have wonderful scenery. You can get old anywhere.

I am with CT. Grieve, find like-minded people, discuss, and then let your mind wander to the next steps. A lot of people find life after 40 even with past behaviors that are not savory in our society.

Give yourself some forgiveness and share time with someone you love, could love, would love, or just plain admire. You are really the keeper of your fame and your legacy...no one else's in this world. Enmeshed in you in your mother, but you are still just an individual who will eventually leave your own mark in this world. Taking care of someone for a long time is a good beginning. I admire you...your legacy already is glowing in my book. The flame has been lit.

Why not live apart for awhile? It gives both parties the opportunity to be employed as they desire. Many couples work with this arrangement and find out if thier "greener grass" vision of the past/future works. Otherwise, a grousing man combined with a more successful happy career woman could mean the same thing in the long run-divorce.

Just a thought.

Your sense of yourself is a classic battle fought until one dies. Enjoy the discomfort, the life, and the montage. It's short, the thread haunts us, then, one day without notice, it's gone.

CT has it down...compassion, doubt, and restlessness in thought...that's it, you're there already.

Why do you think that humankind invented roller coasters?

Cary, great advice and compassionate. Letting go of things would create a better world.

This man could be dangerous, but such an act of kindness could disarm him and make his reconsider his own existence.

Let it go and live whereever you want.

I am not adopted, my southern gothic family was filled with hate, regret, rape, and incest. I hated myself, but still tried to always be OK, no matter what!

Fast forward, 50 years, I still have some of the dialouges, but the most shocking moment is the fact that my mother mirrors the same dialouge with herself long after her parents are dead and her father raped two of her children. She still believes that she is unworthy at 86. This is tragic...after all these years...she will die with her father echoing in her head.

Stop the pain, get help, your choice in many forms, listen to Whitney Houston relentlessly singing "The Greatest Love" or something like that, but please, do not be like me or my mother...I have stopped most of my voices...she has not at 86...be aware that this is a dangerous habit and it sometimes lasts a lifetime.

What type of champagne? What movie? Can I copy this ritual?

Good vacation, Cary!

It is an industrial complex of recovery...it's about the money!

Happy New Year.