Like I said before in connection with this story, WATCH OUT if you really want to make this argument.

. . .I just can't connect with them.

These are two folks who don't have to go to work and barely work for the considerable income they do get (Andrew gets PAID to watch movies, folks). This might as well be an article about how to hire the best galley cook for your yacht, for all the useful information it gives me. If there's a magazine for rich folks (and I won't begrudge them that) these articles belong there.

I am amused that Ms. Valenti, who without paying any kind of price, sneeringly rejects the trappings of privilege -- except when it suits her (by appearing in the "Vows" section).

But what exactly is wrong with marriage? Why does it have to be "patriarchal"? It's only a business dealing among the privileged. The rest of us marry for romantic reasons. What kind of "fight" are we talking about?

. . .they will disown "Miss" and "Mrs.".

Until then, "Ms." will give off a funny smell.

Very few men care about this (now that the days are past where you couldn't venture either "Ms." or "Mrs." or "Miss" without somehow pissing the woman off). Only women do.

"In a funny way, I wonder if even her anti-wedding detractors would have been more satisfied if she'd just said, "You know, falling in love and getting sucked into the complexities of party-planning has made me feel differently about some aspects of the marriage business.""

YES -- that's EXACTLY it.

I would love to see Ms. Valenti do some re-evaluation now that she herself is caught up in the wedding madness. Maybe she will tell us that she looks a little differently now at the people she used to sneer at. She's not particularly self-aware or introspective, though, so I don't hold my breath.

And think how much courage it must have taken for her to even enter the contest.

Excellently put. Also true that the advent of "proper" English was a victory for egalitarianism, not elitism.

And the great majority of Moms don't.

Any analysis that doesn't take into account the huge cost of winning meritless cases -- and none of the analyses cited by Dr. Parikh do that -- should go in the trash.

. . . then there should be nothing wrong with going as an aborted baby. (Sorry, fetus.)

The depth of your contempt for earnest, positive, awakening feminists is REAL counterproductive and, coming from anyone, is from a pragmatic standpoint a REAL big mistake.

Some people like things that you wouldn't expect them to like.

Sometimes you surprise yourself by liking things you didn't think you'd like.

A friend of mine got snookered into going to a Barry Manilow concert some years ago. He came back impressed. "He puts on a good show . . . a lot of it making fun of himself. And most of his songs are actually pretty good!"

So I'm with the previous commenter here, and prefer (stereotypically Midwestern) lack of pretention.

The important thing is to leave yourself open -- listen without prejudice, and not tell yourself "I'm not going to like this" or "I'm going to like this" -- or "am I supposed to be liking this?" And not judge others for what they prefer to listen to.

Because a woman who's stressed or in pain looks no different than one who's about to have an orgasm, or working toward it.

Just go look at beautifulagony.com if you doubt me. A lot of women look like that. Of course, many don't. But if you're new to each other the guy isn't going to know which group you fall into.

Don't be an inert blob like ME Williams, who places impossible demands on the guy. I hope she's gotten better since the encounter she starts out with. Speak up.

Obviously the bad acting, the "take this bitch!" dialog, the fake orgasm screams, are not to be taken seriously.

But one can learn:

--various positions and the fact that they are possible (I never thought of "reverse cowgirl" until I saw it in porn);

--how to give-receive head (some of the actresses are very good at it, though you really have to go to lesbian porn to see good cunnilingus);

--the fact that semen is to be celebrated and not repulsive or shameful (some women DO like it on their faces);

--and the fact that having a big penis is actually a handicap and women who say they prefer them are full of b.s. (these are the most stretched-out women on the planet, and even so they can never take in all of those 9-inchers).

MEW is (or at least was) bad in bed.

The guy was pumping away with no idea that he was doing nothing for her.

She didn't say anything.

For all he knew, she was one of those women who takes a long time to reach orgasm. With such women the thing to do is not vary the stimulation, keep doing what you're doing until her mind gets to the place where she can come.

She avoided responsibility and reinforced the behavior.

It was bad sex. And it wasn't his fault. It was HERS.

I still think I was right and cerireid was wrong.

The way you have it, it's up to the man to ask what she wants.

Most women don't like doing that. It ruins the mood. Picture this: before he touches her, she says, "I'd like some oral sex. Move the tongue side to side. Don't hit the clit for the first five minutes."

This is supposed to be making love, not placing an order at the drive-in at Wendy's.

Most men don't mind taking the initiative (or maybe they're just resigned to it). He tries something and sees if she likes it. If she doesn't, he has the right to expect her to say so. Not lie there like MEW did.

I still think the bad sex was her fault, not his.