The amount of ad hominem venom directed at men who are simply pointing something out -- that condoms are unpleasant and unsatisfying from the male viewpoint -- is remarkable. Not to mention the pomposity and self-righteousness of people like Confucius Always Say. I'm glad dick dworkin pointed out some things that are simply the truth.

There is NO hostility or insensitivity to women in simply pointing out how men feel about condoms. If women were presented with such a sensation-less method, they would rebel against it in a heartbeat. Men, though, are expected to "suck it up" and not complain.

If my woman told me the method we were using left her with no sensation, and it was very unpleasant from her viewpoint, I'd say let's try something else. I mean it would be a no-brainer.

Now I know one must use condoms (either the male or the female kind) to prevent STD transmission. But mention anything bad about them -- and to the average guy, as with the average woman, lack of sensation IS a big deal -- and you get blowtorched like what happened here. As I pointed out before, if you don't let people say something, they'll only say it behind your back, or become passive-aggressive, which is how an awful lot of guys are when it comes to condom use.

Maybe it's because I was a mental health counselor for a long time, and a counselor in a birth control clinic also. But I place great emphasis on airing feelings, no matter how inconvenient they are. I react strongly against people to try to shout down honest expressions, or impute motives to the person speaking which do not necessarily follow.

To me and to dirk and many other men, that condoms are uncomfortable to put and keep on, make for a great loss of sensation, and greatly interfere with sex. This is not a sign of selfishenss or of insensitivity to women. It's just the kind of honest disclosure which takes place between lovers in a good relationship. Now the lovers can either decide to try something else, like a female condom, or stay with the male condom (perhaps putting it on only at the last second? Can either he or she deal with that disruption?). Or do other kinds of safe sex.

But to not bring the feeling out in the open is a mistake. Let's say the man says nothing -- and, every time he uses a condom, due to the loss of sensation he can't come, or takes so long to come that the session becomes a joyless grudge match. What's she thinking? He's lost his desire for me? He's wishing he's with another woman? He's got something on his mind?

"I appreciate you saying that, John. I know it's not easy to say."

"Sorry, Mary. It's not easy. I love you and want to come and feel like I'm going to burst."

Me: Maybe the best thing is to ---

"BWAAAAAHHH!!! YOU INSENSITIVE MALE ASSHOLE!!! HOW DARE YOU SAY CONDOMS LOSE SENSATION!! PUT ON THAT RUBBER AND STFU YOU PRICK!! YOUR DICK IS TINY! YOU CAN'T LAST MORE THAN TWO MINUTES!! HOW CAN ANY WOMAN WANT SUCH A PATHETIC JERK!! OH HOW I ACHE TRYING TO DEFEND WOMEN!! IF YOU ONLY KNOW OF THE THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF OPPRESSION WOMEN HAVE HAD TO --"

[Confucius Always Say and Lauren butting in]

At this point, I'd ask Confucius Always Say and Lauren to get the f**k out of the counseling room, or I'd call the police.

Wrinkly, rotted twist of lemon in flat club soda.

Serve in wrinkly, fragile glass.

Top with wrinkly gherkin.

It's just weird that you'd do this on business, and it really is rank obnixiousness (or at the least cluelessness) to expect women to come along and not resent it.

I say this as a guy who hates condoms because they cut off all sensation. Don't shoot me!

It's not important whether it really happened or not. What IS true is that the women at the protest threw their bras in the garbage, WANTED to burn them, and for some years after that the bra-less look was a sign of being a feminist (or "Women's Libber", to use the contemporary term).

"Bra-burning" has come to mean "weird, militant feminist". And there were a lot of them in those days, doing things that would have made bra-burning look tame and conventional.

A great album, well written songs, but . . .

If guys like that piss you off so much, why do you hang out with them? Why do you avoid nice guys?

There's so much we don't know about sexuality -- particularly men's. This woman is lighthearted but the focus of much of this research, which is still no doubt rather primitive, is to make people's lives better. Thanks for the article.

He went into the sixth inning and I yelled to my son downstairs, "He's throwing a perfect game!"

The next pitch -- a single.

After the game someone asked Glavine if he ever expected to throw a no-hitter.

"Not with my stuff," he said.

My thoughts are as chaotic and conflicted as Tracy's about this.

When you wear a button, or a saying on a T-shirt, it becomes a message to everyone who sees it. A woman wearing this "I was raped" T-shirt is telling me, "I was raped". Just passing by me, a complete stranger, she is telling me, "I was raped". Talking with me about something mundane and unrelated, she is still telling me, "I was raped". Well -- I didn't ask you!

It also has the effect of trivializing rape. How can she chat, work, play, laugh, when she is saying all the time, "I was raped"? She can't, of course.

My very first thought, though, was that someone who really has been raped would never advertise it like that. Then I read one of the comments here that confirmed that thought.