You know, even as I read these comments I'm like, "What? Bush declaring a national emergency so he can stay president? Naw!"

Then I remember that ever horrible fantasy I had from the moment he announced his bid for the Republican Presidential nomination back in 1999? ALL OF THEM HAVE COME TRUE. Seriously. Every single "worst case scenario" I conjured at the thought of George W. Bush being the president has happened, and then some.

So for the moment I'm going to say, "Naw," but God. Who knows?

I think that it's time that we, as an American public, take our case not to Congress, or to the Bush White House itself, or to the Supreme Court, and certainly not to the MSM.

I think we should all go, as one, in person, to Barbara Bush, and demand that, after 60+ years of putting it off, she give her son what he really needs: a spanking. A good, long, painful spanking, with his father's belt. And then she needs to sit down and tell him that no, no! NO! he can't always have what he wants.

You know what this sounds like? All the lame hipsters who start complaining loudly about how bands are sellouts when more than 15 people start listening to them. "Man, the [insert band name here] used to be cool, but now all the trendies listen to them."

Get over it, man. If anything we should be celebrating the fact that people are getting off their fat asses and running. A week from today I'm running my first 5K, and I've set a goal for myself to try to finish in 32 minutes or less. A lame goal? Perhaps; after all, THAT won't ever get me into the Olympics. But it's a challenge for ME. When I accomplish this goal, I'll set the bar higher.

America's competitive spirit wah wah wah. I'm competing with no one but myself, and shouldn't we be applauding people who try to accomplish something for which they might think themselves incapable. This is the most douche-baggy article I've ever read on Salon.

Also pulling votes from Mr Fries was Mayor McCheese, who was running as an Independent from the Funland district.