As a man, who has done his fair share of time in bars, I'll refute the previous poster's assertion that men in bars, who are approached by women for conversation, assume that woman will have sex with him.

Not a useful generalization.

Perhaps the kind of man who is MOST OFTEN approached by women in bars will be like that.. but there are plenty of people, male and female alike, who are happy for the myriad and un-determined kind of social interactions that begin with a comment, may involve an exchange of drinks, and which may or may not lead to anything innocent or otherwise.

To each their own possibilities...

I can add to this discussion that if you haven't seen a naturopathic doctor (or 3), you should explore those options as well. I work with a number of them and their histories of healing chronic pain sufferers is compelling. It's a worthy avenue to explore.

..you knew of this requirement when you accepted the job and being unemployed is more troublesome than being underemployed, my recommendation is to start aiming to get to work at 8am. give yourself a whole half-hour leeway. aim for 730a and go read in a coffee shop every morning. radically alter your schedule to make this situation work for the length of time required. configure the rest of your life for your passions after you've solved this problem. it'll be easier in the long run.

..in Cary's response that I can't get around is this: the father hasn't yet been a father. It sounds as if he's been entirely passive up until this moment. If the LW leaves, he may not actually do his duty. But staying would be too much punishment for the LW.

It's a true shame.

"we're so smart in SF"

one of the reasons i hate living here

I had the same issue.. I violated my rule, when coming back to SF, and moved into the first floor of a house. The owner lived above me. Turns out, she liked to get drunk and fall asleep while watching TV.. then at 3 or 4 am, she'd wake and wander around the house for a while before going to bed. If it wasn't the drone of the TV making me angry, it was waiting for her to finish clomping around the house in the middle of the night.

My new apartment has some neighbors who'd party on their porch from 9pm-3am, recounting high school teacher stories. The advantage here? I could call the cops. That was an "evident" problem.. it's mostly subsided.

But, the mistake was living and managing the "anger" within myself. I paid a lot of money for the apartment, and had spoken plainly about my need for a quiet domicile (I'm a single parent). She said the same thing, and couldn't fathom that she was causing me distress. Ultimately, her notion that she "owned" her home trumped any issues I had with noise.

Breaking a lease isn't the end of the world. Find a place that's quiet, that you think you can live in for a few years. I've broken a couple of leases in my day (against my preference) and it's never come up.

Be careful how you present this "event" or "need" to a future landlord. Don't come off as a probable-problem-tenant.

Good luck.

..overly attached to your thinking about this.