You can tell how backwards these anti-choice loons are just by their choice of baby name: Judy. Has anyone named a baby Judy in the last 40 years? Maybe if it was Madysyn...

LW, I am getting married early next year. I am a committed feminist, but also believe that it's a good thing for a family to be united under one name. So:

I am keeping my first name, the name my family gave me;

I am taking my husband's last name as my own;

I am choosing my own middle name, a name that means something special to me.

This way, I have one name from my family, one from my husband, and one that is all mine.

I've been very happy and content since I thought of this idea -I think it's hard for women who identify as feminists but have other reasons for wanting to change their name (for me, keeping "my" name made little sense as it's my dad's name anyway - at least my husband's name represents a life I chose for myself.)

Best of luck!

although I haven't become angry yet... just very sad.

It's a difficult thing to realize that the assholes get everything (because they demand it, and they make life hell for everyone else until they get it) and the nice people just get dumped on, again and again.

And yet, I can't stop being nice. I find it pretty much impossible to not do the right thing, or the self-sacrificial thing, even when I'm being buried alive.

And it's made worse because I grew up hearing "if you're a good person, people will recognize what you do and appreciate who you are..."

No, they won't. Not until you're gone, anyway!

Cary, I love you, but even for you this made no sense. And I mean in an "I think the old man's taken too many meds" kind of way, not an "I don't agree with what he's saying" kind of way. What the hell was that? About death and childbirth and bosses?

I'm here for my second Halloween in the USA, and I agree that as an outside observer at least, the whole thing seems to be about being a slut. I couldn't find a costume that wasn't "sexy this" or "sexy that" (sexy border patrol was my favorite... only in America.) But I don't agree that it's a good thing, and I'm normally the most liberal and do-your-own-thing of person... Shake off the shackles of your puritanical society, sure, but just like the kid who can't drink until he's 21, people who are denied opportunity to break loose go seriously over-the-top once they get one. And it's ugly.

As a foreign woman Halloween scares me, and I know it scares my (mid-twenties) male friends here, who go out and take a shine to the slutty girls and then get yelled at because the girls are only 15, you disgusting men, how dare you. Because it was obvious from the suspenders and the fishnets and the blow dries and naughty nurse get up... ninth graders! Of course!

And the girls... you poor, poor girls.

I was excited to have a Halloween like I'd seen on television. Now it just scares the life out of me... in an 'I want to go home' way, not a 'look at the scary monster!' kind of way.

I saw both my parents naked or semi-naked quite a bit growing up. It really was no big deal. I hadn't even thought of it up til now.

But there will come an age when the kids will choose to look away and say "gross mom! put on some clothes!" - and you'll need to respect that.

I've thought about the earthquake thing before. Does that make me a moron?

Given how often planes take off and land from LAX, surely it must have happened at some point. And everyone was fine. Right?

Please?

I agree that it's probably good for dad to accompany his daughter to church once in a while, if only to prove it's possible to be tolerant and a non-Christian. And you want to know what kind of church you're dealing with here - we all know "Christianity" means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, and it sounds like her church is a little closer to the extreme side.

But I can't believe Cary says nothing about the very scary things this girl is being brought up to believe. Sure, she has every right to believe that homosexuality is sinful and creationism is fact, but dad also has every right to explain his point of view and point to the evidence that supports it. The attitudes she is developing hurt people in very real ways, and that includes the people who hold them (missing out on great friends because they're gay; turning against education because it's science-based, for example... I've seen both happen from "born again" friends.)

Dad, you face a tough challenge because you don't want to alienate your daughter. But you have a right and a responsibility to explain your way of looking at the world - that's what parents are for.

I agree with Cary completely, but PLEASE educate your son about the dangers of chatrooms, myspace, etc. Kids who feel different or isolated are much more likely to go looking for "friends" like them on the internet, and it can end very badly.