WUFFY:

"Good Evening, Ladies & Gentlemen. we are gathered here tonight to help the American electorate get a little bit better acquainted with a few of the candidates who are presently looking forward to seizing the reins of your government."

"So -- with no further adieu, I'd like to introduce you to our three night's debabors; Sen. BARRY OBLAMA - our nation's first serious Afrikanamerikan contender for the presidency; FRAU KLINTON - our First "Blonde" candidate; and, RONALD McPAUL - our First pusiedokter, --- errrr, that is -- history's First GynaColegian presidential contender for the coveted Ruler of the World prize."

AUDIENCE: (clapping, hooting, foot-stomping, heckling, farting, screaming, cheering, jeering, leering)

WUFFY: "Thank-you, thank-you, yes -- indeed. -- By the way, Ronald McPaul has expressed his desire to join our forum to probe the Wymen for their vote. He's asked to join our Democrat affair, claiming that the Republicans, for months now, have virtually ignored his existence in both the race and the debates."

RONALD McPAUL: (cracks a grandfatherly smile) -- "Hi"

WUFFY: "Laaadies First -- " (brows raise to ceiling) -- "So the first question of the evening goes to Frau Klinton. Madam, your entry into the race clearly poses a new & different factor into the presidential equation -- "

FRAU KLINTON: (cuts in with a pandering war-whoop to the wymen in the front rows) "I believe that it's high time Wuffy that The Land of Mrs. Butterworth and Aunt Jemimah had a Woman in the Betty Crocker White House." (flutters lashes) "And I believe that the Male Species of our Village are now suddenly eager to cast their vote for a female specy -- like me !! "

WUFFY: "I am sorry Frau Klinton, but I was referring to the fact that our country in recent times have been casting its victory-votes for LEFT HANDED presidents."

FRAU KLINTON: "Huh?"

WUFFY: "Well sure --- since your first inaugural debut on the national stage with the election of Jerry Ford there have been a long -- "

FRAU KLINTON: (giggles) - "Now, THAT guy - bless his friggin soul - was not only Left-Handed" (chuckles to herself while grasping at her laugh-drool) - "he was Left-Brained to boot."

WUFFY: "Whaaa ?" (shuffles papers, frisks beard) "Well, perhaps, but Presidents Reagan and Bush were ALSO Left-Handed presidents, as well."

FRAU KLINTON: (woggling her nixonian-cellulited cheeks) - Sinister, Verrrry Sinister, -- the both of them." (giggling at her own cleverness) "Seems to be a - Sinister - flaw with those Republican presidents, hey Wuffy?"

WUFFY: "But Frau Klinton, -- your husband, the ex-president, -- Bubba Klinton, -- he himself is Left-Handed, -- is he not ?"

[*Frau Klinton continues to chuckle nervously, hideously, as her eyes roll, then dart over to Sen. Oblama who is now suddenly, clumsily scratching pencil notes with his Left-Hand*]

FRAU KLINTON: "Ohhhh no you don't. I know you and the ilk of the Radical Left Wing Conspiracy wanna see that pubescent youngster over there in the Lincoln Bedroom. You're not gonna razz me, Buster."

WUFFY: (passing a stoic look to the audience) "And of course, you DO know that Senator McKlean is also ------ Left-Handed."

FRAU KLINTON: (pops-her-top) -- "YOU !!!! You're just trying to get me to Cry Again !!! (eyes well-up as she looks searchingly into the quickly welling eyes of half the audience voters) -- "Can we just get on to the next line of questions?"

AUDIENCE: (in a Rising Emotionally-Charged Chorus) "You Go Girl --- you poor wittle ting."

WUFFY: (casts a smiling eye to the smiling McPaul and Oblama) "Ladies -- and Gentlemen -- I believe this is an appropriate time for the intermission segment of our night's debate. Why don't you take this opportunity to scoot off to the Powder Room and try to compose yourselves."

[Wuffy looks over to his co-host, Banana Dash, who has buried her sobbing face into her hankie]

WUFFY: "When we return, my colleague, Mizz Banana Dash, will take up the next line of questions with the other candidates."

[Wuffy walks over and offers a victory cigar to Senator Oblama, then the two leave McPaul sitting alone staring at the ceiling lights, his watch and the stage-floor scuffs]