The new White House Press Corps shuffle forward to call out questions to the newly inagurated President John S. McKlean III.

JOEL ROBINSON: "Mister President, as the only occupant of the White House to share the closest biological genetic code to our first fiery-tempered Warrior President, General Washington, your detractors have charged that you too are at-the-ready to take the People into the unending cycle of warfare that has cursed our land since its inception. Your Defense Secretary Colin Powell has expressed concern. -- How do you respond, Sir?"

PRESIDENT McKLEAN: "I don't, asshole. --- Next Question."

TOM SERVO: "My Readers would like to know what was really behind your decision to make Condoleeza Rice your Vice President? -- Some have suggested that you did so because you weren't certain that you would survive an 8 year presidency.

PRESIDENT McKLEAN: "My party, under Teddy Roosevelt, established the first great thrust in the Environmental Movement with the Preservation Acts of nationalizing lands; my party charged into its bloddiest war in order to free the African-Americans from the slavery imposed by Democrat Party legislatures; my party pressed to grant women the vote in 1920 against the squirmings & bleatings of President Wilson & his Democrat ilk; under Ike, my party sent the Armed Forces into the South to force Arkansas Democrats to allow Black kids to attend school with whites; my party appointed the first woman to the Supreme Court, as well as the only sitting justice; -- It seemed only fitting that both the First Woman President and the First Minority Race President be a Republican.

TOM SERVO: "I see. Yes. Well that makes perfect sense."

PRESIDENT McKLEAN: "Next question."

GYPSY: "President McKlean - clickclick - Some are saying that you appointed Senator Barry OBlarny to head your Department of Health as a concession for his help in neutralizing Frau Klinton's candidacy in last years primary.

PRESIDENT McKLEAN: "I appointed Senator OBlarny to the position because it was the only office in government that he was even half-way qualified to run. -- Next Question, -- yes, you in the Robot Outfit."

CROW: "Sir, your Press Secretary, Amy Holmes has announced that Secretary of State Lieberman is leaving this weekend for a one day visit to Tehran to convince their Loony-in-Chief that you bode them no ill will but only to lay out the Facts as they are to him."

PRESIDENT McKLEAN: "I have faith that Joe will give them an offer that they can't refuse. -- yuck, yuck"

JOEL ROBINSON: "One last question, President McKlean, why did you appoint Jonah Goldberg to be your Secretary of Education?

PRESIDENT McKLEAN: "I did so in order to stick a needle in the eye of the Salon Readership -- and -- I might add --- for no other reason under the sun. --- Thankyou Ladies and Gentlemen. Have a Nice Day."