... back yonder, when i was a little squirt, i recall asking Nana about the fathomless spicket of nuclear energy she seemed to possess as it related to her keeping up with the multitude of grandkids that she dragged all over her big northeastern city.

"Cowhead"(*).., says she, "... since my days as a beautiful young girlie, i never once missed a day without coffee!!"

I believed it, as she always seemed to be carbon-charged in everything she done did.

Before the internet -- in fact, before the Wright Bros. Stanley Steamers & Teddie's 2nd term in the White House -- Nana had started her long career toward a-guzzling the black 'stuff' --- a Fiend for the Bean, people would whisper as she haughtily passed them on the streets.

Her stuffy old Jewish Old Country father would never approve of such indulgences from the rascally youths of the day --- so Nana would twaddle down to the cafe her grandparents ran and indulged to her heart's content, ... so she declared.

To help spin off the excess energies induced by the thick black, black beveridge -- Nana took up swimming !!

A bunch of Thoughtful Promoters were just then contemplating & carrying out a revival of the old Greek Olympics of Yore. She but 12 years of age and too young to compete -- so she began training for the next Games - four years down the road.

Sticking to her Caffine Regimine she pulled off a couple of notable feats --- including becoing the first recorded female swimmer to Conquer the Kattegat. Juiced with Coffee before & after each battling session with the chilly currents, she was primed & eager for the competition.......

... then Kaiser messed up .... big time.

With the Continent aflame, the Games were called off (later Nana would cuss President Jimmy out for calling off the Games in her dotage). The Great War was putting a crimp in her social life, so she hopped a ship bound for America, whose leader had been showered with accolades for "Keeping US out of (their) war"

Nana proudly snuck up to the First Class ballroom, where, again fueled by her "24-hour Caffiene" fix ... she proceeded to "... Dance Across the Atlantic". Once Stateside, she hunted out all of New World's famed Dance Clubs --- and hitched herself up with "the best dancer in the city."

In time, after the honeymoon, she fell in love with God ( aka: FDR ...) -- whilst never, ever, never forgetting her First Love -- that Dark Steamy Cup-of-Java !!! -- Each & Every a.m. , prior to passing her kiss to the wall portrait of Franklin, she would crank out the bean grounds .... then ... take a swig - - then another -- and another.

Well to make a Short Story shorter --- Nana continued her Navigation through Life --- pleased as punch to convey to any who had an ear -- that she never missed a day without coffee!!

Time passed. Nana churned on with the progress of the century, and never missing that daily indulgence. Even the shortages incurred during the nations "Hardtimes" & its Second War could not alter her Reason for Getting Out of Bed.

One late summer afternoon just before her 98th birthday, Nana headed down to the corner market with her nifty double-wheeled grocery stroller to buy some coffee ---- and some other things. When Low & Behold, but who should jump out and cut a swathe across her path but a pack of 4 piratical innercity teens.

URBAN PIRATE No.2: "Yo !! ... How'z about dat bag Granny?"

In the meantime, Urban Pirate No.4 moved past her starboard side to her stern before reaching to dislodge her pocketbook strap from her shoulder.

Clutching her pocketbook to her breast (a gift from her #2 boy), she thundered out in a broken Kobenhavn Tongue;

NANA: "Don'ts yooze boys parent's knows where youze are right now?"

The animal-scowls dropped from their mugs into glances of puzzlement. Then the laughs came & the bag was returned. Nana continued on in her journey, bought her Yuban -- and jaunted home.

At her 100th Birthday Gala --- she danced the evening away with all those whom she loved --- stoked on the Magical Bean that had granted her a Magical Life. Still as unflinching & peppery & laughing at every thing under the sun. "Always black, ... None of that sugar & cream nonsense for me."

Then one frosty day she sneezed -- then sneezed again. A granddaughter tucked her in nice & warm & snuggly, then asked; "Can I get you anything else, Nana?" .... to which Nana replied, "Can you makes me up some coffing, darling?" ..... Then she passed away. -- She was 103 years young.

Since I was a kid & was first asked to join Nana in a Cup of Mud, I have never missed a day without it. And indeed, I continue to feel as perfect as I am.

- THE END -

( * ) : stagename

"What has George Bush's "with-us-or-against-us" mentality done to people?"

a joke ? right ?

since the bloody Age of Sumeria its always been the same-old, same-old.

burr vs jefferson ?? -- nixon vs mcgovern ?? -- krispy kreme vs dunkin doughnuts ??