Letters to the Editor

• Monday Morning : SALON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

  [Read the article: David Broder: Embodiment of Beltway values]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "Children, how many Americans were killed in the Lewinski Affair?"

  CLASS: (en masse) "None, Mr. Bumblebee."

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "Well that's right, class. Very good. --- Now, how many brave & honorable Americans were killed attempting to liberate Iraq from that Mass Murdering Nutball who was ever on the march to seize 19th provinces, obliterate iranians, and cut the life blood to the western economies --- all in order to raise the price of a U.S. gallon to $10."

  LUCY: (waving hand) "I believe that there were maybe 4,000 American soldiers who gave their lives."

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "And how many people in American have been killed since these soldiers began going overseas to hunt the Baddies down."

  CLASS: (en masse) "Well none, Mr. Bumblebee."

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "Right again, class. These men & women volunteered to place their lives in harms way so that the Baddies would stop coming to America to kill their fellow neighbors."

  WENDY: "My mommy said our soldiers will be leaving soon. My daddy says, if they do then gas will go higher than $10. My mommy says the war is a blood for oil war. My daddy says that oil is the living blood of the world."

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "They're both right Wendy. We will just have to accept a future of severe limitations, as well as turning our heads away as a slaughterous Jihad war is unleashed against the blue fingered men, women, children and elderly of the fractious muslim landscape."

  JAKE: "My mommy says that's not our business. My mommy says it might not happen when our soldiers come home. She said the new president has 'hope. and a friendly smile."

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "These are the Great Questions, Children. We are a Nation of People who have a great propensity for looking the other way in times of brutal holocausts."

  LESTER: "What do you mean, Mr. Bumblebee?"

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "After our government drove the Hanoi government to the 1973 Peace Treaty table, it won promises that the communists would honor the legitimacy of the Saigon government. But after the Democrat Party seized full flushed bugetary control of Congress after the elections of 1974, it proceeded to immediately slash domestic aid by 50% and defense contributions to Saigon by 80%. By the spring of the following years the governement we had been tied to in the Paris Peace Treaty collapsed due to a full fledged invasion by Hanoi forces .... in concert with the VC."

  RICKY: "Gosh !! -- What happened next, Mr. Bumblebee?

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "Well the much pooh-poohed Domino Theory of governments falling to Communism kicked into place. -- I actually got to know quite a number of boat-people who fled for their lives while the Clintonians were doing the Cha-Cha' in their Disco-Duds. Meanwhile, 5 million Indo-chinese were decimated. It is why Jack Kennedy, having lived his life during the pograms of millions who died by Communist regimes in Russia and China shouted out his 'We will Fight any Fight' rhetoric."

  LIZZIE: "So you're saying that my mommy will be responsible for the deaths of all those blue fingered people if our soldiers leave soon?"

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "We live in a free country, Lizzie. If your mother does not wish to fight, none will force her to do so. But if your mother is someone who has a different sense of her personal values, then perhaps none should make her feel otherwise about such beliefs."

  MICKEY: "And why have so many soldiers today continued to return to the war in Iraq?"

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "These are personal matters, not to be answered by any but those who consider the wherewithal of such decisions."

  THELMA-LOU: "We think they're heroes, Mister Bumblebee. We think that they should never be forgotten."

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "Class, I think it would be nice if each of you children start spending a few minutes of your busy lives looking up the names of those who have been maimed in war. Write a few notes of 'thanks' for their sacrifices. If you have a spiritual sense about life -- lend them your prayers & best of wishes. Ask if there is some small way that you could do something for them."

  BETTY BUMBLEBEE: "I want to do this, Mister Bumblebee. -- But some of them are not coming back -- are they Mr. Bumblebee?"

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "No, Betty -- some are not. But you can still have your prayers and wishes felt by writing & thanking the parents & sibblings & children of the fallen heroes."

  HILLARY: "Mister Bumblebee?"

  MISTER BUMBLEBEE: "Yes Hillary?"

  HILLARY: "After dinner, when the PBS Newshour ends and they show the photographs of the soldiers lost in the day's battle, my Daddie always stands up at attention whispers their name as he is saluting them. It's kinda weird. I never see his eyes get wet ... except when he's saluting the TV at night."

  Permalink Saturday, June 7, 2008 11:54 PM