But seriously, this is an issue. Girls are raised to be Alpha Girls in school. They (and boys too, but girls get the message more strongly) are trained to excel in academics, sports, the arts, service, etc: whatever it takes to have a perfect college application. In college, they are encouraged to strive for a terminal degree. Do more! Reach further! Go get the next brass ring!

Then they are faced with 2 choices: be a go-getter and never date again, let alone marry; or toss your ambitions aside to raise children at home, and pour all your ambitions into their nurturing and futures.

Are boys really put under this same pressure (I have daughters, but no sons, and my husband was basically raised by wolves)? Or do boys just let the pressure roll off their back? Most guys I know are/were "slackers" to some degree. And most of them grew up to become successful at their jobs. Some are ambitious "driven" types, but mot ... put their time in and go home.

Is it a disservice to teach girls (or boys) to be so ambitious? Should we teach them to "work as hard as you need to to get by, but no more" instead? Certainly I hope to foster self-confidence in my daughters, but I'm wondering if the constant "strive! strive!" mentality is doing more harm than good to us as adults. What are we striving for?

"I don't recommend the path of marriage, children, education not because this is in all instances bad but because I got married at 19. Really that is a terrible choice for anyone to make."

I agree, and yet that's exactly what Brooks was prescribing: skip college, get married in your late teens, and make the babies right away (because that's when you're most biologically "ready.")

If I had married the guy I'd been dating at 19, my life would have been a disaster: he was a nice guy, but nit the right guy for me, and I was waaaaay too young to be making a lifetime commitment.

I am sure there are exceptions out there, and for some people that may be the right choice, But as a societal practice, I think it's unwise in the extreme.

You know, the tree where only white kids could sit? The tree, aboit which a black student asked in a scchool assembly "Can I sit there too?" and the proncipal said "You can sit anywhere you like." And, then when some black students dared to sit under the "white" tree, the white tudents hung nooses from the limbs. Yeah, that tree?

Was planted some years ago by a white student an a black student. The black student was a sister of one of the Jena 6.

That tree? Has been cut down by the good people of Jena.

Because clearly the tree is the problem.

audiences would be cheering the "Jena 6" as heroes of the Bruce Willis Die-Hard-type.

The "Jena 6" committed a crime. They caused harm to the body of another person.

But, that is the last link in the chain of events where great harm as done to the black students of Jenna, and *no one* in authority (save ithe principal of the school who was hamstrung by his school board and superintendent) saw the problem.

Nooses on the tree. That's not a cute toilet paper prak on Halloween. That's like finding a horse head in your bed. Last time I checked, death threats are punishable offenses.

Beatings: white students beating black students. Several whites on single blacks. And out and out melees. On school grounds, at parties, on the streets. Causing harm to a body. Attempting murder?

White students pulling guns on black students. Well, that's a bit more threatening even than the nooses, no?

What charges have been laid against the Jenna 600? The white students who denied their peers the right to sit under a frickin' tree? The white students who hung the nooses? THe white students who punched and kicked? The white student who held the gun? The parnts who taight these white students that it's ok to treat fellow human beings with such disdain? The white school board and superintendent who said "Aw, nooses? Shucks, boys will be boys. Let 'em alone."

If any one of us were in that situation, seeing the deck stacked squarely against them, seeing the powers that be condoning threats against your person, seeing precious little hope for protection from those in charge of oour safety, would any one of us *not* strike back?

The crime began before the white students hung the nooses. Who will prosecute that?

how many wives of deceased politicians have run for their late spouse's seat? And won?

It's not necessarily crass.