Letters to the Editor
Juliebird
Published Letters: 1769 Editor's Choice: 103
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You still don't have me convinced
[Read the article: What's that giant suckling sound?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]As a former nursing mom, my decisions to nurse in public or semi-public were always based on 2 things:
1. does the baby need to nurse, or does she need something else?
2. will my wailing baby cause a greater disturbance if I attempt to leave the room, or will my nursing here be less disruptive?
Usually, it was much less disruptive to quiet the baby as quickly as possible. (So, actually, I was thinking of you!) I was never asked to stop or go somewhere ewlse, or told I was gross ... these things just didn't happen to me. But in all the news stories where nursing moms were harassed by waitors, flight attendants, or concerned citizens, it's the objector who drew the attention, not the nursing mom. The objectors don't seem to mind making a scene, even if it means delaying a flight for dozens of passengers. There's a point to be made! Which seems ... unmannerly to me.
And while "nanosecond" might be an exaggeration, it's not by much. Really. If you and I were sharing a church pew, and my kid was still a nursing infant, and I couldn't get up to go somewhere else, here's what would happen:
1. baby would fuss.
2. I would try distraction
3. I would realize baby wants to be fed.
4. I would reach into nursing top, unclasp nursing bra (one-handed while still holding baby), while keeping breast covered.
5. I would position baby for latching (with breast still covered).
6. I would arrange nursing top to position breast and baby in correct proximity.
7. Baby would latch
8. Baby would nurse. The majority of my brast would still be in my nursing bra, in my nursing top. The exposed part of my breast would be mostly in the baby's mouth. The rest would be blocked from view by my baby's head.
The time from steps 1-3 are quite variable, of course. Step 4 could take a few seconds, or maybe as much as 15-20, if my nursing bra was old and the hooks kinda ornery. The time between steps 5 and 8, for me, averaged 4-5 seconds.
(A baby that doesn't want to nurse, and keeps "popping off" the breast would lead to more exposed nipple time, but that's easily covered by the nursing top as well.)
For you to see anything you didn't want to see, you would need to be:
1. Reaaaalllly close to me (unlikely, since at church I would probably be with husband and other family).
2. Looking right at my chest for steps 3-8.
You seem reasonably smart. I'm pretty sure you could figure out what would likely happen if you were aware of steps 1-4 (4 being the big give-away). Seems to me the *mannerly* thing to do would be to avert your gaze.
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@healthyskeptic
[Read the article: She raped herself]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"Female 1 broke several regs:
1) Went on her own initiative to male barracks.
2) Engage in under age drinking on her own initiative.
3) Performed a striptease on her own initiative.
4) Had consensual sex.
5) Made false allegations of rape."
Ummm ... proof? Besides the 3 airmen's testimony? I've been combing the net, but I can only get he he said/she said stories, without corroboration. For example, Hernandez claims her "striptease" was her fleeing the barracks partially clothed, after clothing was removed during a gang rape. Are there witnesses to support either claim?
There's that hospital visit ... I assume the facts therein will be revealed at the court martial.
And, what about the broken regulation committed by the attorney for the 3 airmen? Where she was interviewed by the defense without a victim's advocate? Is this the source of her "inconsistancies"? If so, is this a reliable source?
BTW, Hernandez freely admits to the underage drinking part. She's not claiming she was forced to drink. Were the 3 airmen of age?
Lastly, I don't know what to make of your confessional. I'm guessing you're implying that it's "easy" for women to falsely accuse men of rape instead of owning up to their own behavior. In which case, Hernansez's Court Martial and world of hurt is proof against that "easy." But, isn't it actually just as easy (easier? knee-jerk, even?) for a man to say "she wanted it" when faced with a rape charge? Isn't blaming the victim a classic tactic of actual rapists?
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@anonyomus 6:05: It's juliebird, not Julie
[Read the article: She raped herself]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Of course making a false allegation of rape is wrong! Duh! Clearly, it's wrong to send innocent people to jail. And it makes it that much harder for victims to get justice. False accusation (of any crime, but we're talking about rape here specifically) damags both men and women.
That doesn't change anything bvoutmy statements or questions.
I still don't see any "proof" that Hernandez made a false accusation. I see a lot of he said/she said, and some very disturbing breachres of procedure on the airforce's part. I am greatly troubled by a (alleged) rape victim being put on trial, while her (alleged) abusers are granted immunity.
And I'm still not sure what healthyskeptic was driving at.
I have absolutely *no idea* how many women completely make up stories about being raped, how many women mis-identify their rapist, and how many women are too frightened to testify against their abuser. I also don't know how many men say "She asked for it" when charged with rape. Any acccurate studies on that would be interesting.