Letters to the Editor

• Good luck for a speedy return to health

  [Read the article: What's worse -- my breast cancer, or my relatives trying to "help" me?]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  As a woman who once had a broken foot, and had a complete stranger offer to faith heal me while I was with my kids at the park, I can understand your irritation with folks wanting to pray with you. (I couldn't hop away on my crutches fast enough!)

  You have a right to handle your recovery in your own way. Not every one wants to wear a ribbon and be a public reminder about their own condition. My mom is a cancer survivor, and was pushed into doing a "victory lap" at some cancer walk-a-thon by well-meaning friends (also survivors). It was traumatic for her. She's put her foot down this year, even though her friend's feelings are hurt. But my Mom wasn't up for the emotional turmoil again.

  I'd let your husband run interference on whatever you don't want to deal with: invite the prayer-seekers to pray for you in their own homes, or at church, while you rest. (He can remind them that the power of prayer works just as well from a remote location without comprimising hs own beliefs, or yours). Read or don't read the cards: the name on the envelope might be enough ("Ah, Rev. Goodman is thinking of me. How nice.")

  As thers have said, let the doctor, or the disease be the "bad cop" for what you don't want to do. "Gee, we come to your prayer breakfast, because she's so tired on the weekends." "Her doctor says she can't have visitors for more than an hour." (I have invoked The Doctor many times with folks ho disagree with y parenting choices. It is amazing how most people stop arguig after "The Doctor says ...)"

  As for your in-laws ... is there anything they can do to be helpful? Can you or your husband find busy work to keep them occupied? Take the kids to the beach, walk the dog, do the laundry, weed the garden, *whatever* that will keep their hands and minds busy? If the answer is no, then maybe it's best to cut the visit short: have husband say he's so worried about what it's doing to them ("Mom, we don't want youto get ill worrying about us...")

  Best of luck to you.

  Permalink Tuesday, June 19, 2007 01:01 AM

• Look at it this way

  [Read the article: Pump it]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  Giving a mother a space to pump at work will save you money. She (statistically speaking) will use less of your tax dollars treating breast and ovarian cancer, diabetes and depression. She will need to take less time offfrom work to take care of a sick kid. Her kid will be less prone to diabetes, obesity, allergies, and autoimmune disorders.

  Since labor laws require all workers, lactating or not, to take periodic breaks, this is not infeasible. I worked with my employers to come up with many creative solutions to finding time and space to pump (10-15 minutes every 3 to 4 hours. Less time away from work than the average smoker). Most mothers (like other reasonable people) are willing to work with employers. In most cases, it's really no strain on productivity or traffic flow. People simply have to be willing to cooperate (not a bad trait among wmployees and their employers).

  And I can just imagine the hue and cry of the easiest alternative: bringing baby to work to breast feed (in "public! without shame! the horror!!).

  Feeding a baby is not an "entitlement issue." It's not a political statement. It's just food.

  I support this issue 100%.

  Permalink Tuesday, June 19, 2007 04:06 PM

• Anonymous

  [Read the article: Pump it]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  "juliebird you are wrong, that much breast pumping is bad for you and your child"

  Bite me.

  Permalink Wednesday, June 20, 2007 04:19 AM