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R1EMT

Published Letters: 3
Editor's Choice: 1

Sunday, September 16, 2007 02:08 AM
Original article: Opus

Indeed!

As someone who flies a lot, both domestically and internationally, this strip really strikes a familiar chord. I can live with the security scrutiny, although finding that TSA has rummaged through my neatly packed clothing and left it in shambles with a note saying they did so for "security reasons" is a bit hard to take...particularly when one needs neat-looking clothing for a meeting on the other end of the journey! I don't think the strip is taking a cheap shot at the obese, more pointing out that everyone feels like they're being given the worst seat and it's being compounded by having to share that seat, in this case with a large clownish-looking creature. Frankly, I think I should be able to get in and out of my seat without gymnastics, but even with my relatively small stature, that is impossible in "cattle class" on most US airlines. I did discover that NZAir is quite good and relatively spacious. Maybe US airlines will take note.

Saturday, February 16, 2008 08:41 PM

Umm, no, it's not a sexist remark...not at all.

I am stunned that it is presumed to be an attack on the female sex/gender. He did NOT suggest that in any way. In fact, it is a statement that could as easily been made referencing a male candidate/opponent. Many people of both genders are known to lash out/attack verbally when feeling unhappy or backed into a corner. This is really, really looking for a story where none exists and gender-baiting.

Sunday, November 23, 2008 09:42 PM

Advice was a bit off the mark...

First, the marriage contract requires a joint decision; one that should have been made in the introduction of the child into the home. In making that decision, other decisions were necessary--ground rules for the child, how the child is expected to be a member of the family, how the marriage is going to be changed by the new dynamic, etc...

That ship has sailed. Either the necessary conversations didn't occur or the content was insufficient.

The second point goes to the relationship between the uncle and niece. It is highly questionable, on the basis of the reported facts. It is NOT normal behavior to allow a child to rule the adults' behaviors. It is also NOT normal for an uncle to act couple-like with his niece, or any other child. She is indeed a child, albeit clearly a manipulative one. Manipulation is learned behavior. It also requires capitulation on the part of the manipulated.

Clearly, some behavior modification is necessary here--for all concerned. It doesn't sound like anyone is acting like a mature adult in this situation. If she is not an equal partner in the marriage, then perhaps it's time to leave. The child clearly needs help...from professionals, not just someone who feels guilt-ridden (thanks CT for that truckload you dumped in your advice) and honor-bound to help her.

Honestly, it sounds to me like the letter writer needs to recognize what boundaries are acceptable in her own life and enforce them.

Parenting is a skill. It is a learned skill and children do not come with instructions. Seek assistance in learning the skills to be a good parent and recognize that no one is perfect and the perfect parent does not exist.

Frankly, it sounds to me like the letter writer is going to have to be parent to both the uncle and the niece, if she chooses to stay...at least in the near term.

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