At the time my kids were subjected to the D.A.R.E. program, I was having a very occasional drink--only when we went to one particular restaurant that has these amazing Bloody Mary's. My husband has never had a drink because he's always been fearful after watching his own alcoholic father almost die--at the point his mother brought his father to the hospital, she threw out all the liquor in their house and she never had another drink until after he died many decades later, just to support his quitting for good. My own parents were alcoholics, so I've been pretty clear about the potential dangers of alcohol too. Neither of us have ever smoked cigarettes. My husband tried pot a couple of times in college but didn't see the point. Both of us are completely in favor of marijuana's legalization.

We talked about all these issues with our kids throughout the D.A.R.E. program. They could contrast their grandmothers--my husband's engaged, happy mother and my own bitter, psychotic (literally), alcoholic mother and come to the conclusion that drinking is BAD. But we talked about how the non-alcoholic grandmother has wine sometimes now and how my mother's problems are a lot more complex than mere alcoholism, how we know people who use marijuana for health reasons or for fun who don't get addicted or turn into potheads...we were pretty open in discussing all of this.

The trick is that they time the D.A.R.E. program for when kids are starting to be most critical of their own parents and most hungry for new adult role models, so even in a strong, happy family it's easy for the kids to take Officer X's word and horrifying stories more seriously than the parents' word. In my opinion, the D.A.R.E. program seriously erodes family values more than anything the public schools offer. But where is the Christian right when you need them?

The son's name isn't Percy, is it?

Yeah--if you're THE West Leyden Rob Anderson, come on over to Table Talk and say hi. If you are, I suspect that the reason we never lasted beyond 2 or 3 bowling dates had something to do with your finding me boring, too. But inquiring minds want to know!

The LW's wife is a pathological liar. Her ability to continue lying even when confronted with evidence to the contrary about something so important suggests she may even be a sociopath. Marriages can survive cheating and all kinds of other wounds. But they cannot survive when one person cannot be truthful with the other. And tragically, counseling is virtually always ineffective with genuine sociopaths, who are manipulators who game even that system. The LW needs counseling, too--to figure out why he's been so willing to accommodate someone who continues to lie to him.

There is a little girl to think of here, not just a marriage between two people. LW, get out. And don't look back--she'd just be waiting with more lies.

Like Humpty Dumpty, Iraq cannot be put together again, no matter how long we stay there, no matter how many billions, and now trillions, of dollars we spend, no matter how rich we make Dick Cheney (whose Halliburton salary during his terms in office are merely being "deferred).

The real question facing us isn't whether the war in Iraq will be lost--it already has been. The question is whether our own democracy and freedom haven't been pushed off the wall like Humpty Dumpty, too.

I'd love to see the US restored to that lovely if not perfect time when the world respected us and we respected one another enough to have honest debates. Instead, we now have self-proclaimed contrarians spouting off the top of their heads about serious matters when their qualifications are not in science or political science but in popular culture.

"America has grown weak in its inability to sacrifice. "

Yes. Every time we've fought and won a war, we've raised, not lowered, taxes and drafted all able-bodied men under 26 years of age unless they had a good cause for a deferment. It was in Korea and Vietnam that we started letting more and more people out of the draft, when community draft board members recognized the pointlessness of that particular war, or when politicians got their well-connected boys into units of National Guard that were least likely to be called up to actually be sent off. Which is why the people running this war, chickenhawks all, have no concept of the genuine and universal sacrifices a society must make to win a war.

>>She could claim, falsely, that he assaulted her.

Then again, he could take Cary's advice and tie her to a chair, and she could claim, truthfully, that he assaulted her.

The longer he waits and the more frustrated and angry he grows, the worse the ultimate outcome.

>>It seems to me you want all of her, but you're not going to get that.

Seems to me that the issue is mostly about "the depth of her deception." This is not an open marriage in any sense, because even when couples are able to work out their relationship while having deep sexual or emotional relationships with others, the word "open" is the operative term. This woman is NOT open. She lies, and continues lying in the face of proof to the contrary. This is not what ANY marriage is based on.

"Paglia should check her facts before writing"

The only facts Paglia ever uses come from watching TV. Count on her to get details right about Paris Hilton or Anna Nicole Smith. Iraq? Global warming? Not so much.

Nope.